Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Today has not been the greatest for me. I'm kind of depressed, for really no reason, and am wishing I could use food to deal with those feelings, but I am trying so hard not to fall back on my goals.
I am very appreciative of my friends and supporters, but they don't know what I'm really going through, and it is so hard to explain why I'm sad or why I can't say no to candy or carbs, depending on the day. And I don't have a good explanation anyway. Losing weight is about so much more when it comes down to it. I need to find myself again. I have been hiding behind food and my weight so much that I don't really know who will appear at the end of this journey, but I certainly hope it is the happier version of myself that I remember from years and years ago.
This week feels kind of overwhelming because things are starting to pick up in life in general. My solution is to really try and focus on one day at a time, but tonight I will go to the grocery store and stock up for the week. Deep breaths and one step at a time, right?
Now all I have to do is get through the rest of the day. A couple hours of work, a class that I'm observing and then home for dinner and homework. Nothing exciting, but if I can get through it all without jumping off the "no sweets" bandwagon, I will be ecstatic! Wish me luck!