Tuesday, January 22, 2013
So before this weekend, I was tracking everything healthy and not healthy, I was being ACCOUNTABLE...I also was practicing being Kind to myself. This is a new concept, because before when i ate someting "unhealthy" I would get so upset with myself, I would feel like I just undid all the hard work I had been doing, now I am trying to allow myself room for imperfection and realize it is normal to crave ice cream and pizza, etc....its just either getting a lower calorie version next time, or budgeting your calories for it. But if you did neither, thats okay, because there is always another opportunity for success....every meal is an opportunity to praise ourselves and realize this is a JOURNEY and in order for it to sustain itself it needs to be realistic to your lifestyle and who you are at the moment, and for me right now that means the occassional pizza and ice cream...I am hoping to budget calories better, and have these occassions fewer and farther between.
So this past weekend, was just that time, It started on Saturday and ended on Monday...I let me emotional eating play part again...this time it wasnt boredom or sadness it was happiness! I was with my friends this weekend, and part of our time together revolves around eating and sharing laughs, and i went with the moment and wasnt thinking I could watch my calories and have fun...It was almost as if I was upset at having to do that..has that every happened to you? Resentment at the fact that everyone is eating cake and you have to (or should) say "no thank you im on a diet" I hate that statement, it makes me feel like an outcast, and brings unwanted attention to myself...so I just ate everything with no thoughts of calories, and I didnt take my medication for my pcos, which is not good! So this was LEARNING EXPERIENCE not a "BAD" weekend...im trying to refrain from BAD or GOOD blanket labels, it brings about that shaming feeling.
So here I am day 18, practicing being kind to myself and not shaming myself, because I am a work in progress and am learning how to take care of myself from the inside out...