Tuesday, January 22, 2013
After having a not so minor meltdown earlier tonight my husband finally was able to get through to me. I have been feeling like a failure but then when I told him where I was weight wise when I started to where I have come he reminded me that my body is in full on panic mode b/c I am kicking it into high gear and having PCOS is making it that much more difficult b/c my body doesn't want to give up the weight as easily as other people. When I said it out loud things began to make sense. I am putting way too much pressure on myself to get to that magic number I think I have to be at by a certain date. That's a guaranteed failure. I have lost a total of 9 lbs since I started and gained about 5 back. Depressing yes but encouraging none the less b/c I can and will do this. So now instead of focusing on the number on the scale I'm going to focus on how much farther I can run on the treadmill everyday or how much stronger I am getting while strength training and just focus on eating as healthfully and cleanly as possible. Eventually I will win this battle and the fact is that it took a loooooooooooong time to get this way and it's going to be slow and painful to take it off and then keep it off.