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    JILLYBEAN25   26,725
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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Man, I think I have a few things going on with my body at the mo'. I've been on my irritating and uncontrollable sleep cycle where I get stuck on REM and dream vividly all night, and fail to cycle through the rest of the sleep steps needed for quality, restful sleep. So. Awful. It's been almost a month at my estimation and finally I am to the point where I'm always sleepy. But, if I try napping during the day, the same thing happens. Stuck on REM. No real benefit.

Also, about a week ago... or maybe 5 or 6 days ago... I ended up hitting the back of my calf on a heavy object and it hurt. So I figured it would leave a bruise. Boy, did it ever! I looked at it today (back of my calf, so not readily visible!) and it is UGLY. Purple, black, yellow... hideous! I'm surprised it still looks the way it does and is still the size it is after all this time. Which leads to me believe...

...I may have a bit of an iron deficiency right now. It could also explain my total lack of energy and strength (ya know, aside from the lame "sleep"). I don't eat very much red meat, liver, shellfish, or vegetables that are full of iron. Not that it matters. Your body only absorbs less than 12% of non-heme (vegetable sources) iron at a given time. Heme sources (animals/meats) get absorbed better at about 20%. Eating iron with vitamin C ensures your body absorbs that iron. So, what I need is a big thing of beef liver covered in strawberries. Yum. emoticon

Tomorrow is the last day (I think?) that I can find out whether or not I've gotten into that stats class. I really need to get it. For one, I am terrible at math and having a fun class (photoshop) and a hard class will make this semester bearable. Secondly, all the classes I have to take are going to be hard, so I don't wanna take a million hard classes each semester. This would help to lighten my load. Third, if I drop below half-time status I have to start paying back my loans. With what money? Yeah. Exactly. Not a good situation. Since I enrolled at the college so late, there weren't many classes that were open, so I've literally signed up for all that I could that was still available. There were many, many empty seats in my class on Thursday, I'm now #3 on the waitlist, and if there are still empty seats Tuesday night, I get to be in the class. I'm hoping that's how it goes. Keep those fingers and toes crossed!

I have some disappointing things already going on. Thanks to these classes, I won't be able to sing this semester. Before I moved to SD, the choir I sang with met on Sunday nights at my old high school. Sometime between then and now, they changed that. They now sing on Monday nights at the community college. Unfortunately, at the exact same time as my photoshop class. Then, my old theatre teacher sings with the other group, which is smaller, more "elite" so to speak, with more advanced singers. This group very often sings with the choir at concerts and whatnot, as they both used to be under the direction of one person. The group used to meet at the community college on Thursday nights. Now, it meets at my old high school! Unfortunately, at the same time as the stats class. I really wanted to get back into singing since its been about 5 years. It was something I enjoyed doing as a hobby and wanted to get back into while I'm here. So, boo on that.

I haven't heard about a job. I've sent my resume off to a few places, but without a car, I'm really limited to where I can apply. Especially when the summer hits and the temps soar to 110+ degrees outside. Not really a walkable temp. People die in that kind of heat. Also, there isn't much out here. This area has one of the highest rates of unemployment in the state. I don't know much Spanish, which already puts me at a huge disadvantage. This is the sort of place that you need to know people to get your foot in the door. It's been so long for me, I don't know anyone anymore. I'm still going to try, not giving up... its just discouraging, as it has been so far. Also, I found out I have to go to my previous school IN PERSON to apply for and pick up (when it's ready) my DSS certificate. Really?!?! REALLY?! That is going to constitute taking a trip, on a weekday sometime, and coordinating a ride or a car rental... So seriously disappointed to hear that.

In the meantime, this tiredness and weakness has prevented me from starting on some things I've been wanting to start on, namely finishing up my room organization and such and getting the kitchen up to my standards. Also, figuring out a fitness routine. So, either I gotta get a steak and some oranges, figure out this chemical imbalance effecting my sleep, or I gotta suck it up and prepare to fall on my face to get ish done. Word.

Here's some cat feet. She's still not adjusting well here.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CANNIE50 1/23/2013 5:59PM

    So, are you feeling better yet, dear lovely Jill? I stopped by to thank you for all your comments on my blogs - thank you!! I think you are onto something with the iron deficiency. A few years ago, my daughter was tested for anemia and one doctor said she was "just a little low" but when she did not get better, we got a second opinion and the doctor said her iron stores were dangerously low and the previous doctor did not see that because they only ran the standard hematocrit test. Anyway, I hope you are better and sleeping more restfully. Everything is harder when we are tired! Sweet dreams (and MORE REM!). emoticon

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NEWSGIRL2177 1/23/2013 10:49AM

    Sounds like you're having a stressful transition, chickadee. I'm glad you got into that class and I hope it helps propel you forward. I have trouble sleeping, too, and it's this vicious cycle of stressing out and not sleeping and being more stressed because you're not sleeping....ugh! I hope things start to level off for you soon. And kitty!
I try to be optimistic in times like this, even when it's really difficult and almost feels fake or forced. I *know* things will get better for you. Hang in there!

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ERINBELLOWS1978 1/22/2013 12:59PM

    My darling Jill. You know things have to get worse before they get better. I think you've reached the worse my friend! Things have to start getting better. They will. Here's my advice on the iron. I get extremely anemic when I'm preggo and they always try and give me iron, which of course I cant take because I get seriously backed up emoticon
So my doc said to eat a bowl of total every morning with an orange, and guess what. I was regular and my iron levels came back up. It's not bad actually. I know it's not the best breakfast, but it works when trying to boost those vitamins!

Honey you just keep plugging away, send out your beautiful vibe into the world and something will come back to you. You only get what you put out my dear. You have so much to offer this life, I'm sure something wonderful will happen for you!

Sending you positive thoughts and keeping my fingers(and toes) crossed!
Love ya kiddo!


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SMILINGTREE 1/22/2013 12:05PM

    It must be the moon or the stars or something. It sounds like you are doing as much waiting as I am: waiting to hear back about jobs, waiting to find out about stats class, waiting to feel better...

Here's what I hope happens: you find some kind of low-stress, easy part-time job that puts a little money in your pocket, you get into stats class and no longer have that set of worries, and you sing alone in preparation for next semester when you can work the choir into your schedule. Oh, and while all that is happening, you start sleeping better. (I'm not including the liver and strawberries, because you have a good enough handle on nutrition to fix that easily.)

There. Now good things will happen. I command them so! ;)

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ARCHIMEDESII 1/22/2013 11:57AM

    I hear ya on that job hunt. I have similar issues. I don't own a car so I need to find something that's at least accessible via the subway system. If you don't hear back, it's not you. The problem is that there are too many highly qualified people fighting for too few jobs. Never take a rejection personally. it's not you. it's the economy.

One thing I've learned is how necessary it is to have multiple types of resumes. These days, a person needs to tailor their resume to whatever job they are applying for. So, if you have a single resume, that may be holding you back. Even if you don't have specific job experience, play up all the experience you do have that does relate to that job.

And once again, never take anything personally.

Now, I'm not a doctor, but it strikes me that some of your sleep issues may be stress related. You're worried about a lot of different things and that sort of anxiety can really mess with our sleep. I know when I'm under stress, I tend to have vivid nightmares too. I find a long walk helps me reduce stress and sleep a bit better. Do you have a nearby park ? I find a walk around a park or resevoir relaxing.

Even though you can't join your choir this semester, how about during the summer or once your classes are finished ? Just because you can't join right now doesn't mean you can't join later.

Things will get better !

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RAINYFRIDAY 1/22/2013 11:37AM

    I hope, hope, hope you get into this class! Keep your chin up and remember it takes a while to adjust and you'll get there, just give it time!

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JSALERNO 1/22/2013 8:17AM


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SLIMMERJESSE 1/22/2013 2:12AM

    Maybe some iron supplements for awhile? When I went to college, I changed my entire program from BS to BA so that I wouldn't have
to take statistics. Hate math. Sorry to
hear your kitty is not adapting well; they
are such creatures of habit who get used to
their environments staying the same.

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