I am on day 10 of SparkPeople and still going strong. I haven't always made it this long so I am pretty proud of it. I am not looking at the past and all of those attempts. They don't matter.
What I am so grateful for is the encouraging support I've received here and some of my friends and family that I've told. But I haven't told everyone. This is why.
I want to prove it. Not by talking about losing weight, getting healthy, coming here, tracking my food, making better choices, etc. I could talk, talk, talk but then fail, fail, fail, and then there it is. Oh that Penelope...she tried again.
I don't care AS MUCH about what people think as I have before, but I do a little. This time I have an inner drive now to show the people in my life that I mean it. No words will do it. Only my actions. This is new. A new development in Penelope's development.
I want people to notice I've lost weight without me discussing it. I want to drink water more without explaining why I'm doing it. I want people to be talking about how great I'm doing without me telling them what I've done. I want people to eventually say I've inspired them not necessarily by what I've said but by what I've done.
If I become inspirational by doing and saying someday, that would be okay too.
My need for others to know what I'm doing is gone. I used to announce every Weight Watcher attempt. People would ask me how I was doing for awhile but then their interest would fade away. Then mine would too. Was I doing it for attention? I don't know. I know now that it wouldn't matter if no one knew what I was doing, I would be working just as hard. This is a change in me that I am so happy about.
I am not relying on other's opinions to define me! YES!
I am not waiting for approval from others before I do something I want or like! YES!
I am doing what matters to me and makes me happy and to heck with others. YES!!
I am living for me knowing that I can handle any loss, both weight and people, and I will still be okay. YES!
While I don't NEED these things, sometimes a little attention is NICE. The other day I was waiting in line at the Starbucks. One of the music professors at the college came up to me and commented, "Have you lost weight?" I smiled and simply replied, "I'm trying". He said I looked good. That made me feel wonderful! I didn't need it for validation but it was great to hear.
Our actions will sing louder than our words out there. There are so many of us who are fighting the good fight and coming out the other side. We can go from being inspired to becoming inspirations in our own right.
We can do it.