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    MONKEYWOMAN   851
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Progress

Monday, January 21, 2013

I was very pleased to see the scale go down 2 pounds today. It's only been one week since I started to change my eating habits, but I already am starting to feel the benefits already. A couple of years ago, had I done this, I probably would have been dissappointed in losing only 2 pounds the first week.
Dieting for a short while and then rebounding has pretty much been the story of my life. It can't be anymore. I feel like I've matured enough to finally be able to handle some serious lifestyle changes now. For the first time ever, I can sincerely say that it's not just about losing weight anymore. It's about my quality of life. It's not just me wanting to be around for my son - but also to have the energy required to have fun and do things with him.
Over the past 10 years I've suffered from chronic chest pain. I've been to several different doctors and spent hundreds of dollars on tests without any answers to my problem. Some mornings, I just wouldn't want to get out of bed, I'd feel so miserable. Over the years, I just learned to deal with it. For the past year or two now, it seems the pain has been spreading to the upper left side of my stomach. I would always feel bloated and sick to my stomach, yet I would continue in my unhealthy ways. Then, one night I got just wasted drunk. I'm sure I made an ass out of myself at a party. I woke up the next morning ashamed of the person I had become. I wasn't just having fun with friends. I was drowning my sorrows. I was so sick for a week after that, and had some time to re-examine my life. I was not the person I wanted to be - constantly sick and without the mental focus required to raise a kid. I remembered being told once that the way of becoming the person you want to be is by doing the things that that person would do each day until you are that person. So, that's what I'm attempting to do now. I'm choosing to exercise and eat right TODAY so that one day I'll be able to say to myself without hesitation - "I'm healthy" - because THAT is what I want to be. All I can do is take it one day at a time. Nowhere in my mind do I delude myself to think that I'm "there" yet. I have a long way to go. But I have to say I'm feeling a million times better than I was even a week ago. I got so used to feeling sick, I didn't even realize how bad off I actually was. I've had very little problems with chest pain this week, and no migraines. To me, regardless of the number on the scale - That's progress! What's a bigger motivating factor than simply feeling good when you're so used to feeling miserable?
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AURORAMILLET 1/22/2013 12:02PM

    Keep pushing

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BARBANNA 1/21/2013 2:11PM

    You are over the number one hurdle by admitting you have a problem. We are all in this together and understand how you feel. You are going to the right place, just keep up the good work. Don't beat yourself up , just be thankful for this website and the positive help you need to get better. Take baby steps! emoticon



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