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Stop and think before doing ANYTHING!

Monday, January 21, 2013

I just had a situation that put me in a place of unhappiness/contnetion. I had that all too familiar feeling again of throwing in the towel and was inner talking the following: "Ah, crap!! I don't care anymore, I will eat badly and I'll show them!! - Food always provides happiness and I will hurt others with my bad eating". This is total BS. I actually try to justify poor habits and behavior by avoidance of the issue by eating and self deprecation. I lose sight of the issue and wallow in my sorrow and food (temporarily and of course consuming large calories).

The great news is that today, I didn't eat badly and realized that I was going to only hurt myself. Although I still feel bad and have contention, I somehow have to pull myself up and workout to better the situation (I have not done a workout today and this is the perfect time). This is a strange feeling because whenever I feel bad, I eat and find comfort (then after I am done, I feel worse). The food provides a temporary relief and numbs the thoughts of the problem at hand - avoidance of the issue. This self understanding is vital to my success and seeing how 'bad' connections are made; also trying to reconnect contention or sadness with better behavior (not perfect, just better or not as bad).

Although I do still want to eat or so I think, this writing is strengthening my inner core to seek alternative ways to express my feelings rather than calorie intake. I feel as if the unhappiness is leaving my body through my fingertips as I type. After a few minutes of this, the initial shock/bad feeling of wanting to eat goes away and I 'settle down' in my mind seeking to feel better through alternative means. I hope this makes sense to you when you reread next time this happen. Love yourself Dave and GREAT JOB!!!

My inner emoticon is now pissed ; "I think he's catching on guys, we're gonna have to change strategies and get him to eat no matter what!!!"


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
BACKYARDER1 1/22/2013 8:54AM

    I agree with KING_SLAYER, you should change your user name. It was one of the first things that struck me about you..from the get go you've downed yourself.
You are doing a great job at changing that . You seem to understand your own feelings and how you react to them, that's a big beginning! I think you truly do know how to dig yourself out of the emotional eating rut..GO DAVE!!!
I hope what ever has darkened your day is resolving and things are looking better.
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CHRIS3874 1/21/2013 8:52PM

    I can totally commiserate. I have felt that way many ,MANY times over the years.
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WILDFLOWERMA 1/21/2013 8:22PM

    Your inner strength came through and you recognized the negative patterns. Congrats for the acknowledgement and replacing the unhealthy urges with positive behaviors.

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KING_SLAYER 1/21/2013 8:05PM

    The negative self talk has been the downfall of many people, not just in weight loss, but in many aspects. A little self deprecation is a good thing (my opinion) because it helps us to not get an overinflated sense of self, but a little goes a long way! One thing I'd like to see you do on that front is change your user name. "HugeDave" is a self deprecating title you've put upon yourself, it's how you see yourself I'm sure. I would bet that there's a decent amount of self loathing going on in that head of yours (I knwo all about self deprecation and self loathing!). I'd like to see a more positive name, something fun (AwesomeDave) or goal based (SlimDave).

You need to give yourself permission to like yourself more. I'm sure of you had a friend that called himself "Huge" you'd tell him that he's not so big, you've seen 100's of people bigger then him, treat yourself with the same respect!

This is meant with all due respect my friend.

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DOVESEYES 1/21/2013 6:23PM


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_BABE_ 1/21/2013 1:22PM

    Bravo for making the all starts again tomorrow. If we are lucky the episodes get less frequent but I think there is warning that this is a life time affair. I like how you feel the unhappiness is leaving your body through your finger's just a part of the spark magic. emoticon

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FIT4MEIN2013 1/21/2013 12:53PM

    emoticon Well done! We have to harness the healthy stuff, because the "old us" has a strangle hold. emoticon

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