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Compliments After Weight Loss? How Do You Handle Them?


Monday, January 21, 2013

I was reading this article ( www.bariatriceating.com/
2012/07/04/interpersonal-c
hanges-and-challenges-afte
r-weight-loss-surgery/
) the other day and it made me start thinking about how I react to compliments since I've lost 120+ lbs.

I guess I should have expected it and in a way I did expect to get some attention after I began loosing a considerable amount of weight. Come on, I can't expect to drop a whole person from my figure and not have people notice. But as much as I expected it, I didn't realize how uncomfortable it would make me feel.

I suppose part of it was not being used to all the attention. Yes it is nice to have people notice me, but it can be weird to hear the same comments and questions over and over again. I swear sometimes I think I'm going to loose my mind if one more person ask, "Where's the rest of you?"

Part of the reason it catches me off guard is that I don't see myself as looking that different than I did before. My perception of what I look like has not caught up to the weight loss. At first I just didn't know how to respond when people complimented my looks or weight loss. Now I usually just smile and say, "Thank you."

There is another weird comment I get now that I have lost so much weight. Many times I've had a close friend or relative say something like, “Wow, you are getting close to my size, now–I should go on a diet!” What is that supposed to mean? I am sure they aren't purposely trying to be insulting, but are they trying to say I'm not allowed to be the same size as them or smaller? Am I always supposed to be the "fat one?" I have yet to figure out how to handle that one.

So how do you all handle comments & compliments on your weight? What experiences have you had with completely inappropriate comments or sweet compliments?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CORTNEY-LEE 1/22/2013 11:01PM

    When someone deals me a compliment, I smile and say thanks.

I have had people make comments similar to the "you are almost my size" thing, and I just look at them and say "I know right! You better get on that"

I have also had people that don't really know what to say, so instead of keeping their mouth shut and not saying anything, they say something off the wall. I even had one friend go as far as to accuse me of shooting heroine!

Then to add insult to injury, when people find out you lost the weight through gastric bypass and not the "old fashioned" way, they accuse you of taking the easy way out and assume you didn't have to work hard to lose it.

I was really excited in the American Eagle dressing room because I could finally wear their clothes. The sales clerk noticed my big smile and asked what was up. When I told her I lost 100 pounds she responded with "wow, you look so great! you must have been really fat before" I know she didn't mean anything hurtful by this statement, and it was meant to be a compliment... but you know

Here is the other thing... you will never look in the mirror and see what everyone else sees. You will never see yourself as a thin person. You will always focus on that little roll on your stomach that won't go away, or the bit of leftover flab on your arms. You won't see the entire picture.

When I look in the mirror, I don't see myself as thin. I still see myself as 260 pounds. That is why I post pictures of myself a lot. That is the only time I actually see myself as I am.

sorry, I will stop rambling now..

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PATTYR81 1/22/2013 11:56AM

    emoticon
I can TOTALLY relate!!

Since I started my journey 12/11 I've lost 71 lbs (51 since surgery). Despite fitting into size 18 down from skin-tight 24W, most of the time, I still think I look the same.

I haven't really gotten a lot of comments, but when I do, I just say 'Thank You' and change the subject. The attention to my body makes me uncomfortable.

I can now fit into some of my college athlete dd's t-shirts, jackets and my jean size is getting closer to theirs. They are very supportive of me, but I also notice the occasional comment that as I can wear some of their clothes and approach their size pants, they are worried about their size and should lose weight.

I think it's because everyone worries about how they look. My dd's are used to seeing me as very large and the thought of me wearing their clothes/sizes triggers their insecurities about being large a bit.

I noticed they were more relaxed about it after I told them that I want to be just like them! In their world, if they were just like me, they would be 24W, so my telling them I wanted to be just like them validated where they are (sizes 9, 11, 17)

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THANKS for the article and blog!

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KATHRYNLP 1/21/2013 11:25AM

    Just say "Hey, thanks for noticing." emoticon emoticon

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TURTLETALK 1/21/2013 11:18AM

    I haven't lost enough weight to have this worry yet but my sisters will occaisionally make compliments that I see as put downs. One time after sharing a motel room with my sister she announced to my other sisters, "Yes she has been losing weight but she still has belly hangover like the rest of us." I was ticked but I held my tongue to keep the peace. I figure that when people make inappropriate comments it just shows there ignorance. Congrats on the great weight loss!

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