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    MAESTRAPLANK12   22,479
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BULLIES IN RECOVERY

Monday, January 21, 2013




A middle school neighbor of mine was recently bullied at her school last week. The principal dealt with the verbal abuse and hopefully this will end the matter. As a student with bright red hair and freckles and a 4.0 GPA I was bullied frequently, but I met it head on without ensuing trauma. As a recovering alcoholic, I was bullied yesterday at lunch with friends. My husvand and I had not been in contact with this couple for over a year.

We went to El Tapatío, my favorite restaurant in the local area. For a beverage I ordered Diet Coke with the explanation that I don't drink alcohol anymore. All was fine until the wife insisted at the end of lunch that I tell her why I don't drink anymore. I was surprised at her rudeness. I told her I can't drink one glass of wine and that I would consume the entire bottle and want more. I told her I that choose to be in control of life by not drinking alcohol and that it is my personal decision. Her reply was, "I can't believe you are going to Mexico next month and not drink." I didn't respond to this because I was still in shock at her rudeness and insistence for an explanation.

Kids face peer pressure, but peer pressure can be experienced by adults as well. I experienced peer pressure at El Tapatío by a friend. Why did she question my personal decision to abstain from alcohol? If and when I see this bully again, I will turn the situation around and ask her why she chooses to drink alcohol.

The Serenity Prayer is my guideline for living. However, God did not create us to be doormats to be trampeled upon. Bullies need to be curtailed. God has given me the strength to stand up for what I believe. Through His grace and mercy He has allowed me to survive alcohol withdrawal and create a new life that focuses on the positive changes I have made and continue to make. With His help I have become a better person and I have no tolerance for bullies in my recovery. Get thee from me ....BULLIES! I have a higher power that loves me and is my shield and defender in times of strife and turmoil. " The Lord Jehovah is my strength and song." Isaiah 12:2
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RASPBERRY56 4/4/2013 6:07AM

    When, oh WHEN, is this society FINALLY going to *get it* that bullying is ALWAYS WRONG and MUST stop - FOR GOOD and FOR EVER?

It angers me even more when "adults" (note that I use the term in *quotes*) perpetuate that kind of unacceptable social behavior - and the scary thing is more often than not - they SPAWNED CHILDREN - therefore continuing the cycle onto the NEXT GENERATION! People are *unnecessarily D Y I N G from this abuse*! AARRGGHH!

Kudos to you for your gracious and classy manner of dealing with the rude _______ (insert your favorite term - I've got a few to use, but I choose not to use them)! Seems that our society is continuing to churn out the "severely intellectually challenged" at a record rate - it's an absolute shame that person leaves home for any reason and risks continually offending society at large!

Hang in there - you're doing *great*!

emoticon

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AWESOMECAROL55 1/26/2013 6:10PM

    Great blog...Yes at 22 years sober I have run across many bullies & saboteurs. It's the latter that bother me. What would possess someone who knows you haven't had a drink for many years...try to get you to drink! Your friends' statement about not believing you are going to Mexico and not drinking is pretty common. It amazes me how these folks cannot fathom that a person can enjoy life without a drink in their hand. I guess it's because they have not experienced the joy and bliss we have found in recovery. Pray for your friend...that is what i have been taught!

Have fun...enjoy your sobriety!!
((HUGS))
Carol

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LESLIESENIOR 1/23/2013 10:53PM

    Yep, there are no victims, just volunteers. You were right to dismiss her questions. She did not need an answer.
You will be swimming with the dolphins in Akumai..........not swimming in the Tequila!!!!
Woo Hoo to that!

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PICKIE98 1/21/2013 10:36AM

    I am surprised that you felt the need to explain why you were drinking pop. Even if everybody else is drinking booze, I never, ever feel the need to explain my choice. If they do ask, I actually say, "Why do you feel the need to ask me?"
I have been in a support group for thirty years,, one of the things I learned was: These confrontations are like a tennis game. they lob the ball across the net,expecting a response. If I do not hit the ball back, it is then THEIR responsibility to AGAIN hit that ball across the net(seek a response). IF I AGAIN do not respond, etc...
I am actually always in control, but need to stop whipping that ball for the other person's benefit. Eventually they will get the hint.

A true friend would never have manipulated you into responding. No different than if she asked you if your husband was wearing underwear!! MYOB!!!!!

You worked your program, but I am glad that you are not going to be with her on your vacatioN!! Whew!!

Nobody can step on me unless I get down on the ground.
We have to accept other people's behavior. WE do not, however, have to tolerate unacceptable behavior.

Enjoy your trip and don't drink the water or ice cubes!! That is not a control issue, it is a warning for your health, if you know what I mean!! Been there, done that!! emoticon



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HANDYV 1/21/2013 10:29AM

    We have a Jujitsu school in our town that has a big sign outside "Problems with bullies - visit us". I know violence is not the answer but I think if you can protect yourself if it came to it - it could help. Both my kids when they were teens took Taekwondo - they never were bullied but I felt better that they could protect themselves. By the time they got to high school they were both Black Belts - they never had to use their martial art - but I still felt better.

Kids can be so cruel at times. They learned - and it was burnt into their psychi that "self control" was to be maintained. Again, I do not believe violence is the answer - but I felt in my heart they would atleast be able to defend themselves. But that was several years ago, and now kids tend to go beyond just bullying. I pray the kid you were referring to has no more issues.

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ABERKSON 1/21/2013 10:25AM

    I feel some people need to insert their own stupidity into conversation because they don't know how to be honest with their own selves!

WTG, on being honest with your reasoning :)

Have a great day.

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