That's how the cram packed insistently demanding days of January have left me - slightly wiped out. Thank goodness for this 3 day weekend, coming after all the January deadlines, to rest up and get my groove back.
The past 3 weeks have held deadlines, introductions, trips and guests - all great opportunities to shove my New Years Resolutions to the back burner - not where they'd be forgotten, but where they could simmer gently till I was ready fo serve them up. Of course the operative word in New Year's Resolutions is NEW and since they're new I'm not sure they're quite ready to lay out in print, but if I don't do this now - I may not do it at all and I know for sure if I don't write them down I will feel bad all year. So. Here Goes.
First off - the recap of 2012 and it's 12 new habits. I loved doing these. I loved them so much I was tempted to say I will just do the same 12 in 12 in 13 and leave it at that. In fact - I will do that - with some tweaks and modifications. Those habits centered around 4 core areas of my life:
1. MY PHYSICAL LIFE (food tracking, exercise and water)
I'm very pleased with the end results. These three actions are at least enough of a habit to make me uncomfortable when I don't do them. I intend to keep on concentrating on these good ways of living my life. And though I am not at my goal, I did lose 10 lbs last year and kept it off. I started lifting weights and am twice as strong now as I was a year ago. And in a whole year I did not once talk myself out of going to the gym!
2. MY WORK LIFE ( Charles Schwab list, 5-year plan, BigWorkGoals, Compliment Staff)
I'm pleased - though not as pleased - with how I incorporated these into my life. I realize that reading the 5 year plan daily is excessive and but I will do it twice a week and see that my staff does too. The Big Work Goal and the attention to my staff are not yet habits but they're on my horizon. The Charles Schwab list is an absolute essential and the only month when I drifted away from it was the crumbiest month of the year. Won't do that again. Love me that CSL!!
3. MY HOME ENVIRONMENT (Clean the kitchen every night)
I started right off the bat and found it made ALL the difference in the whole rest of the house. Those few minutes of tidying up before going to bed gave me time to think about the rest of the house and what I'd like from it and for it. It prompted me to push for - and actually get - the bathroom renovation we so needed. It got me to get the rug doctor in to clean the rugs, and it lead me to initiate the difficult discussion with Himself about the addition to the house that we MUST have before I retire and before he gets to old to oversee it. Who knew a clean kitchen would do all that.
4, MY SPIRITUAL LIFE (Pray, Draw, Read, BigLifeGoals)
Yup yup yup. Prayed and found such expansion in it. Drew and got lots better. Didn't read as much as I thought I would ... didn't want to read as much as I thought I would - what a surprise. And found that some steps towards my BigLifeGoals were seeping into my days, my life, my very soul, just by opening up and letting them in! Got the bathroom redone, took the beach vacation with my sister, revisited old places I loved, explored new ones I uncovered.
I'd say the 12 in 12 were the most interesting and fun New Year's Resolutions I've ever made and ever kept. They were so much fun that, as I said, I want to keep on doing them. But they are neither new nor resolutions so ... what's on tap for 2013?
Ahh. It's much more ephemeral. Much harder to describe - to put into words - one reason I've been so long spitting it out. I'm not sure I can even now - but I am going to try. If I come off as maudlin or blasphemous or just plain weird - so be it.
There is a power - a flow, a source, an energy - so vivid, so exciting and so magical that it can take you anywhere in a twinkling. I call it God. I do not subscribe to a particular religion but I am absolutely positively certain that God exists and God is the way. God is the source. God is the power, the energy, the flow. God is the love. This is not a faith thing. This is a knowledge thing.
Nothing keeps me from this power except my own laziness, sloth, and ego. I can tap into the magical flow anytime I want to but I have to do the actual tapping. For 2013 I want to tap into that flow - every day.
I could say I want to pray every day - but prayer can so easily turn into a Christmas Wish List. "Please God, make me thin. Please, God, help me keep my tempter" That sort of thing. Instead, I just want to tap into the flow and let it take me wherever it wants to go. I'll admit it. I'd also like to use it now and then for my own egotistical purposes, but mostly - I just want to open up. Let it in. Participate in it's exciting energy.
Unlike my 12 in 12 - I won't have daily or weekly or monthly reports about concrete accomplishments. What I hope I'll have will be insights, revelations, ah-ha moments - some of which might be worth sharing. But that's not the point of this effort. The point is to live each day more within the flow of ... of God.
As for concrete accomplishments achieved in 2013 - there will be 4 of them.
1. Reach goal weight by March - and stay there the rest of the year
2. Do something every month about my kitchen so that it is more functional
3. Carve a space for myself out of the Junk/Packing/Guest Room upstairs - before May
4. Discuss with Himself - every month - the addition to the house so that it doesn't drift into the realm of pipe dreams
So. This is a different sort of set of New Years Resolutions. In fact, the big thing is more of a New Years Revolultion. But there it is - spit out in all its ungainly description.
I sure do love a New Year.