wont let others cause me to fail
Sunday, January 20, 2013
i have struggled with my weight for years and ate the majority of times because I was sad, depressed, angry, overwhelmed etc. In the last 18 months I have become the primary caretaker of my parents- they are up the street from me- Dad has alzheimers and my mother lives in constant pain and is permanently disabled. Then in September I was fired from my job. My profession as a clinical social worker working with children and families meant everything to me. I lost my peers and sense of fulfillment. I continue to look for a job but after three months realized I needed to change for myself- permanently. I had no career to fall back on so I could ignore what I had done to my body. I have been with spark people since the beginning of January.
Yesterday I found out that my mother's condition had gotten worse- requiring more of my attention and worry- then today I had conflict with my brother (who lives in Alaska- I live in NY). As I burst into tears feeling so hopeless- it came to me- I am not giving up, I am not going to eat to deal with my hurt and overwhelmed feelings. Overeating has never worked for me before and my size has only compounded my problems.
The fact that I was able to stop myself and make the decision to stay on the healthy eating course was huge for me. I think I am finally getting it and I believe with the support of my sparkpeople friends and tools I can change.