Sunday, January 20, 2013
Where to begin? Christmas break was wonderful; I got to spend time with Dominic for the first time in months. This month he is gone completely due to his clinical psychology internship interviews. Due to the committee rules I can't tell you where we want to end up, but I will say it looks like there's a very good chance we'll end up there. I didn't take the first week without him very well - was quite depressed and the house sort of fell apart (because I'm not really that clean on my own - I need his prodding), but things are better now. I've started enjoying my time on my own. This is an extended weekend so I've been able to do a lot of relaxing.
This week was a tough one. I had three commuting days in a row and by Friday night my back was killing me from all that time sitting behind the wheel of a car. I've been having chronic back pain off and on for quite a while now. When we got some unexpected Christmas money we decided to spend it on a good mattress because the one we had was just awful. Friday night I was in so much pain and so exhausted I fell asleep before 8pm. I've also been getting these awful headaches that last for over 24 hours.
Dom was home for a few hours last weekend and we spent that time looking at mattresses! We got a Tempur-pedic and I LOVE it. It's going to take more than a few days before my back really starts to feel the benefits, but each day has been a little better than the day before.
I've still been working with Fitness Guy. I totally slacked off over Christmas break, but have otherwise been quite consistent with the assignments. Today he gave me my biggest assignment yet; he said he knew it would be a challenge but he thought I was ready... a series of strength and conditioning exercises... for time. So about 20 minutes of high intensity exercise. Up until this point I've only been assigned one or two exercises a day. Well, I did way better than expected. Just one example, the ground release push-ups - when I first did them I could only do 12 before switching to my knees. Today I did 17, and that was only one of several exercises I did. Fitness Guy said he was really proud of me. He's been kind of awesome, to tell you the truth. He somehow has managed to give me just the right amount of challenge, and he's been great helping me with my back and knee problems. One assignment he gave me was to run up a flight of stairs as fast as I could four times, then turn the other way and go up a flight of stairs backward four times- so scary for me but I could feel it strengthening my knees!
It's so funny; even two years ago I would have set all these lofty goals to lose so many pounds or fit into a certain size pants. Now that I'm pushing 30, I'm starting to feel myself age - my body is really deteriorating from lack of use - so my big lofty goal is to be able to stand up and sit down without groaning. Or to, like, not have back pain every day. It's funny how quickly your priorities can change. I've actually come to a point where I love my body and I'm not too self-conscious about it and I've accepted it, flaws and all. But what I can't accept is watching the quality of my life plummet because I was too stubborn to get off the couch and do something about my health. If all I ever do is manage to deep-six all these aches and pains, I will consider myself a success.
Work continues to be awesome, though it looks like it's almost certain I will have to be leaving Philadelphia when Dom and I move this summer. It's so weird having no idea where you're going to be or what you're going to be doing. Especially when you have really high hopes for a specific outcome. I have been a ball of anxiety lately, but by the end of next month we should know our fate.