Sunday, January 20, 2013
A friend of mine said I should blog because she found my last email to her inspiring. So here I go....
I am tired........ I am tired of being tired and tired of being overweight. Who wants to be tired all the time? I have decided --- Not me.
I joined spark people in 2008. I was successful in dropping 50 lbs. I met my now husband, got out of my routine, ate and slept like a teenager and the pounds came back. I struggled the last couple of years with the motivation to do anything about it.
In December 2012 I was staring into my closet trying to find something to wear. It had all become too small. I knew I did not have the finances to purchase something new and bigger so I would have to make something. Sigh. I did not have the time and besides that I was too tired. So I will not go to the Christmas Party. I will stay home make a frozen pizza and drink a few coke zeros and still go to bed hungry and have to eat a few tums to settle my stomach.
As I was getting ready for bed I had a small "wow" moment. I feel pulled in so many different directions everyday buy my family, husband, work, friends... I never stop to give myself any time at all. I tried to be as objective as possible and think about what I really wanted.
I heard a faint click, ignored it and thought : I wanted to be healthy, I wanted to be strong, I wanted to not hurt when I did anything at all, I wanted to feel nourished and content. I wanted to lose weight.
That click was the sound of my internal switch flipping. I did not need to find the determination, willpower, energy or time to be healthy. I would make the time. It was also the first time my weight had not been at the very top of my "want" list. That told me that being healthy and strong was far more important than the number on the scale. Not that I dont weight myself daily, but I dont go into a full panic attack when the scale fluctuates a bit. For me, that was the turning point. I am not doing this to lose weight, I am doing this to save my life. The weight loss is a byproduct of being good to me.
I knew from my previous weight loss trial that if I wrote in a journal and used Spark I would be successful. If I premade my meals, organized my life so I am focused on what is best for me. Set goals that I felt were attainable yet still challenging and created a vision board, I would be successful.
I make the personal decision to not tell my family except my sister. * she is my best friend and a certified life coach, who better to go to then here if I start to stumble or deviate from my path. I didnt even tell my husband for the first few weeks but then he was concerned because I was leaving so early in the mornings.
I know when I first started preparing meals it would take a while to form habit.. my trick - when you do have to make a meal ( which if you have kids or a hungry husband and his parents staying with you is 3x + a day) make one - two extra servings that you can refrigerate or freeze. That way you always have at least one healthy alternative in the house. Then sundays are a mix of whatever is left in the fridge.
Make sure you have at least 10 minutes of time to yourself everyday. it is so important. For me (when my husband is home) it is in the morning. He is a late sleeper so I get the morning to me. I sit with a hot cup of coffee and journal. My journal is just a note book but I turn to the next days page and on the top write an inspirational quote. At the end of every day I write.
" Tomorrow I will be healthy, whole and good to myself. I will exercise my mind and body. I will nourish myself with good food and make good decisions. I will be amazing and do amazing."
I can not tell you what a difference it has made. On Friday I was EXHAUSTED. I had worked all week, worked out all week, and had not gotten proper sleep at least 3 out of 5 days. I did not want to journal this morning but I sat down and my quote at the bottom of my journal from yesterday and really thought about it. Then I had my coffee and got on the treadmill. I felt great after, but my internal struggle of " this is too hard" was encroaching on my determination. After the treadmill, the rest of the day got easier.
Remember: " Tomorrow I will be healthy, whole and good to myself. I will exercise my mind and body. I will nourish myself with good food and make good decisions. I will be amazing and do amazing."