Sunday, January 20, 2013
J continues to decline. His blood pressure has begun to fluctuate greatly. It goes from low to high about every 15 minutes. If it stayed low or high the body could accommodate but the body can not adjust the the frequent swings. His feet and legs are swelling to 3+ to 4 edema-- 4 is the highest rating. He can not be given lasix as it would bottom out his blood pressure.
He is now very jaundice - even the whites of the eyes are turning yellow. This is how is was when he was first sent to the hospital the first time,
He can not have anything with milk as his lack of liver function does not process it and he will wake up the next morning throwing up.
He is in a wheelchair as he is very unsteady when attempting to walk and is at a high risk of falling. We do need a broken hip.
He has written notes to both of the children and his two best friends. He has moments when he is anxious and restless which is all normal for this stage of end of life.
The nurse has ordered liquid morpnine for me to have on hand if he is not able to swallow. She has also ordered a medication for those moments when he is restless as these will become more frequent. She is always a week ahead of the game and predicting his needs. She is wonderful and I will be forever grateful for her.
I think he will make it through January but will be surprised if he makes it to March. The nurse agrees. This is the same 4 - 6 months the doctor initially predicted but closer to the 4 months than the 6th.
I am coping. I am still very busy working full time, dealing with medical bills and insurance-- they are driving me nuts. One bill was denied as they put me instead of J as the patient!!!! Have to watch everything they do. Then the usual errands and the physical care.
One blessing for me in all of this that is helping me stay on track. I have a friend and we use to workout at the same gym. She moved and I lost my workout buddy. She has moved back within a couple miles of me. She called wanted to know if I would like to exercise again. The answer of course was YES. I explained the situation that I could not get away much but had a gym set up in my house. So she comes everyday at my convenience and we get in a good 45 min to 1,5 hour workout every day. J does not mind and is glad I have someone to workout with. Since She comes I do not put the exercise to the side as I do the many other things that need to be done. Putting in some time for me but still right here if he needs me.
We are all at peace. We all get times away to take a fresh breath. We know each day J is getting weaker. Times when he is just a little confused. He does not like me being away for too long. I think he is afraid something will happen and I will not be here. He is very appreciative. Just sad he could not have learned some of these life lessons sooner.
Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers.