Saturday, January 19, 2013
I see a counselor every 3-4 weeks, which is progress. I was seeing her every week. The last time I saw her she asked me what life goals I wanted to work on in treatment. Every 3 months we have to do what they call a treatment plan. It was usually lose another x amount of weight, stay consistent with my exercise, set boundaries with Paul(my son) blah blah blah. Those have pretty well been achieved. The weight has been lost, and I am maintaining, of course continuing to maintain is a goal but she is pushing for life goals. I am 58 years old and I don't know what I want out of my life. I have no goals. Am I satisfied with my life the way it is. Certainly not. Then what do I want. I don't know. I want something different, I don't know what though.
Of course I have goals of taking my Mom to PA, Brianna is graduating in June, I want to get her something nice I was talking with my BFF the other night Gary and he thinks I should have a man in my life. I scoffed. In a way I would like to have someone special but then do I really want that? I don't know. I don't like being told what to do, Gary does enough of that until I tell him to cram it, I am use to being alone and I like it or do I? It might be nice to have someone around, but then again, I can watch what I want when I want, run around with no clothes on if I want, and do what I want when I want. No one can tell me what to do or to make them supper or to get them a drink or that they want to have sex. Tough I don't. Are you confused? Well then, how do you think I feel?
How can someone make goals when they don't know what the heck they want. I am suppose to have 3 goals by the time I see her again on the 28th. What do you think of these goals? 1. Get married and live happily every after in a white house with a picket fence. 2. Have 2 children 1 boy one girl in that order. 3. Have 2 dogs 1 cat and 2 cars. Do you think these are SMART goals?