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    IAMAGEMLOVER   149,536
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What is my dream?

Saturday, January 19, 2013

I see a counselor every 3-4 weeks, which is progress. I was seeing her every week. The last time I saw her she asked me what life goals I wanted to work on in treatment. Every 3 months we have to do what they call a treatment plan. It was usually lose another x amount of weight, stay consistent with my exercise, set boundaries with Paul(my son) blah blah blah. Those have pretty well been achieved. The weight has been lost, and I am maintaining, of course continuing to maintain is a goal but she is pushing for life goals. I am 58 years old and I don't know what I want out of my life. I have no goals. Am I satisfied with my life the way it is. Certainly not. Then what do I want. I don't know. I want something different, I don't know what though.

Of course I have goals of taking my Mom to PA, Brianna is graduating in June, I want to get her something nice I was talking with my BFF the other night Gary and he thinks I should have a man in my life. I scoffed. In a way I would like to have someone special but then do I really want that? I don't know. I don't like being told what to do, Gary does enough of that until I tell him to cram it, I am use to being alone and I like it or do I? It might be nice to have someone around, but then again, I can watch what I want when I want, run around with no clothes on if I want, and do what I want when I want. No one can tell me what to do or to make them supper or to get them a drink or that they want to have sex. Tough I don't. Are you confused? Well then, how do you think I feel? emoticon

How can someone make goals when they don't know what the heck they want. I am suppose to have 3 goals by the time I see her again on the 28th. What do you think of these goals? 1. Get married and live happily every after in a white house with a picket fence. 2. Have 2 children 1 boy one girl in that order. 3. Have 2 dogs 1 cat and 2 cars. Do you think these are SMART goals?
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRS_TOAD 1/21/2013 8:15AM

    A huge part of life is figuring out who we are and what we want. Thankfully there is no time limit! I have confidence in you. You will figure it all out in time.

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SMARTIN77 1/20/2013 6:58PM

    Only you truly know if you desire a man in your life. It has to be your decision alone. You're 58. As far as I'm concerned, you're still young. Your life isn't over. You have wisdom and maturity which I'm sure you've passed on to your children. Just remember...there are other people out there who can benefit from your wisdom. And there's tons of people who just need to be loved. You know your strengths and weaknesses. Take a little time and just assess what you're passionate about. Or even think further as to what would require a "leap of faith" or take you out of your comfort zone. We can all get into ruts, and we can all feel like we're just drifting and coasting through life. Maybe take some time and journal about your thoughts, feelings and dreams. No one has to read it but you. I think you'll find some answers you're looking for.
emoticon Each day is a gift.
Just untie the ribbons. emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/20/2013 6:58:51 PM

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ANGJENN822 1/20/2013 2:35PM

    I don't know many people who do know what they want out of life. So, if you can find some goals, good job!

I don't know what I want out of life either. Although my list of what I don't want is growing. So maybe that's where you can start? A list of what you don't want.


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1CRAZYDOG 1/20/2013 7:58AM


Reading your post again, I have to admit, I maybe wasn't seeing that you were being fasecious! But I think you've gotten some good hints to help by asking for some tools for self exploration. I think the idea of asking yourself what would you want to accomplish if you knew you only had a little time left is a good way to try to think about it.


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JSALERNO 1/20/2013 7:15AM


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NEW-CAZ 1/20/2013 3:02AM

    Bonnie you're at that age when you've bought up a family and done all the usual stuff, perhaps studying for something you enjoy, aiming for a 1/2 marathon, volunteering and raising "X" amount for a charity?

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GABIBEAR 1/20/2013 1:23AM

    Bonnie - Your list sounds as if you were just being facetious or at least that is the way it seems. LiveDaily has some great suggestions. Your the only one that really can answer that question.

I know this sounds a little morose, but think about the bucket list idea. What would you like to accomplish before it is too late? Anything? That could be a great springboard for you.

Having 2 dogs and 1 cat would be doable if you have the funds and ability to find a new house that allows pets. Pets are the greatest and they give us a great reason to do everything....getting up, walking, being happy - they lower your blood pressure and give such unconditional love - just like Sadie - but you could have her on a full time basis. Your a smart lady and you have gotten this far!

Good luck and emoticon

emoticon emoticon

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ECOAGE 1/20/2013 12:25AM

Goal #1, continue to express your killer sense of humor!
Goal #2, take the opportunity to appreciate what you've accomplished and celebrate successfully attaining your goals.
Goal #3, ask the counselor to suggest some tools and projects for self-exploration so you can visualize some new meaningful to you goals.

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LIVEDAILY 1/19/2013 11:56PM

    Those goals sound like they belong to another person. You are 58 (I am 56, so not that different), and if someone were to tell you, okay, you only have 10 years left, what would you want to do? Or look at it this way: what can you definitely change? what can you possibly change? and what is beyond your ability to change. You can change your hairstyle. You can change where you live. You can change what you do (job). You've mentioned a couple of times about volunteering. Maybe you can find a different place to live, one that would allow a small dog. That is a worthy goal. Are you going to physically have 2 kids at 58 years old? Not likely. Could you tutor kids? Yes. Could you mentor kids? Yes. Could you be a Big Sister? Yes. If that's what you honestly want to do, then make that a goal. Is there a skill you would like to learn? A handicraft? Do you already know how to do something, but you haven't done it in awhile and you'd like to start again?That would be another worthy goal. Are you a list maker? Sometimes that helps me to make decisions if I list all of the pros and cons or all of the options to a problem. Just make a list of things you would like to change or do. That's a start!

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CHOCOHIPPO 1/19/2013 10:40PM

    No, sorry those are not smart goals. Smart goals are measurable, and I forget the rest of the acronym. A smart goal would begetting involved in an activity of interest in hopes of making new friends. To be open to begin dating again. To be willing to open your life up and share it with someone.... You have to walk before you can run. Good luck!

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1CRAZYDOG 1/19/2013 10:08PM

    You're probably being honest with yourself that you're USED to being by yourself after this time, and you know what . . . that's not all bad for all the reasons you listed! I love my DH, don't get me wrong . . . and my kids . . . but sometimes it is difficult to meet my own needs, pamper myself when my time is "taken up". Again, not complaining about that becase; 1. I chose this life! 2. DH is good to me 3. The kids cause their fair share of stress, but I love 'em and @ the core they're good kids. My DS (20) has really matured -- a WONDERFUL thing to see -- since being in the Army. DD, well . . . she's 17 and she had to get there as well. I know she will but WHEN!

Anyhow, reading what you've written, I'd say #1 is not really realistic. Had to laugh @ #2, because I am 58 as well, and will be 59 next month. Let's just say the "child bearing dept." has shut down already!

And as for the house and cars, only you know if that's realistic.

Follow your heart1


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