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FFF week: I forget - Letter to future self

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Dear Future Nikki,

Let me just start by saying, I really hope you didn't screw this up for us. Or I will invent a time machine and come (up? over?) there and punch you in the head. Because I know you know how hard I've worked to get you where you are (where you better be) today - i mean today in the future, not today as in Jan 19, 2013. In case you were wondering, future self. I know this is confusing. Try to stay with me. Hopefully we're still smart in the future.

Anyway, I trust you future self. I trust you not to forget our dear friend, Past Nikki, who was so unhappy. Remember all those low points, hating her wedding dress, feeling embarrassed walking up the stairs to class trying to hide how out of breath she was, the comments from family members, never wanting to run into anyone from high school because she was so ashamed, never ever thinking herself attractive in any way, feeling like she didnt deserve to like herself, wearing shorts and a t shirt in the pool, feeling completely hopeless about ever being able to break her food addictions, being turned down for health insurance, seeing the scale hit 260 during pregnancy, seeing the pictures from pregnancy, seeing that number 215 on the scale 5 months after Irie was born, still having to wear maternity clothes for months and months after giving birth because nothing fit, being depressed because there's not a single decent family picture with her in it and these babies are growing up so fast.

And I really hope you dont forget how awful the stuff we were eating made us feel. How tired and foggy and sluggish and apathetic about life we felt as we kept reaching for another handful of m&ms or cake or anything fried or oily.

But you know all this, Future Nikki. I know you wont forget. That is a long list of depressing crap. Who could forget all that? Not us. Unless our memory is a lot worse in the future. It's not, is it? Write back and let me know. I'll guess us some gingko bioba. But when you feel the motivation waning, I hope you will picture me right now, half way on this journey. And think about how much better I feel about the choices I'm making, how many obstacles I've overcome, how much more confident I am now, how much more energy I have now. Think about how hard I've worked so that you can be happy. I know you will make the most of it. Because you're me and I have good sense.

I'll leave you with this list of things I hope you accomplish by the time this letter reaches you.

-run a 5k
-run a half marathon
-become a master hula hooper
-get rid of the junk that sneaks into our diet sometimes and not miss it!
-visit your friends in Europe and Australia
-cherish every moment with your amazing husband and kids
-love and accept yourself and think that you are beautiful.

And if you could weigh about 115-125 and be super hot, you know like great hair and look like you know what you're doing with the outfits and stuff, that'd be awesome Future Nikki.

Present Nikki

PS How much longer do we have to wait for jet packs?

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