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40 days on Spark People - The View From Here

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Saturday, January 19, 2013

As I was in the pool at the gym this afternoon, doing my 45 minutes of water jogging, I realized that today is Day 40 on Spark People, participating in Spark Coach, and being on this new journey. Since 40 days feels significant, I wanted to take stock, and talk about The View From Here.

As so many people have commented on in other blogs, and what we of course know ourselves, I've been on a zillion diets, including Atkins for a year (never did lose all that much weight) and starting with WW when I was a kid. My family members are all overweight, so weight, weight loss, despair, accepting ourselves who we are etc have been topics of conversation my whole life.

So what makes this time different? First, the wake up moment of really "Seeing Myself" as we were about to go on stage to perform. Seeing myself in the mirror, seeing everyone else, and getting that, NO NO NO NO NO, this cannot go one. This is not who I really am. Probably lots of us have that Wake Up moment. As I've mentioned in a previous blog, I'd tried Spark People before, but had never gotten involved in the community, and this was before Spark Coach.

So fast forward to today, I ask myself, so how are things going?

1. I feel like I'm in a groove, which I don't think I've ever felt before, about food - what to eat, tracking, how often to eat, etc. I understand now, when I've heard people talk about eating smaller meals throughout the day. In working on keep calories low - and healthy - this kind of eating has just naturally evolved. Eating breakfast everyday, I have to say, I can really feel a shift in metabolism. I get REALLY hungry a few hours later. Then eat again a few hours later, all meals 300 cal or less. Then in the afternoon snacks, then more calories available for dinner - which is the hardest time for me. Having a lot of calories left for dinner and evening is working best right now.

2. On Spark Coach, they say that this is a JOB, and is WORK, and that we need to take it that way. Amen to that! Again, having a focus on food, and fitness, and motivations, staying connected on the Spark People Website, tracking etc. It IS a job, and work. It's serious work, and I get that.

3. I made a vision board last week - first time I've ever done that although I've certainly heard about doing these before. I want to do another one now, encompassing some other areas of my life.

4. I'm awed - is that the right word? - at my depth of commitment, the seriousness of this work, and I feel like I am not holding back, but giving it my all. It is SO HELPFUL reading blog posts about the fear of failing, yet again, yet again. But the constant focus from Spark Coach and Spark People in general, about "Keep Going", Never Give Up, Consistency, etc. This is new - and it feels so right. I feel new with it... and that feels really right too.

5. Struggling with not feeling like I'm in "calorie prison", and that each time I eat anything, there's less and less. I'm trying to work this out inside - to free myself from this. Yes, this is about discipline, but a) it's a choice, and b) it's what we all do, as human beings, eat and then stop LOL.

6. Feeling really good when I do my workouts in the pool, so steady, right at my target heart rate, moving like I mean it, and my body is soaking it up. I need to add the strength training component - need to get over my resistance to that, I've done strength training in the past, and I love it. I also need to start walking.... for many years, I couldn't walk more than a block or 2, due to spinal stenosis in my neck and low back. But after intensive massage therapy - intensive! - over the last year, and the exercise, I CAN walk now. I need to set down the fear, and just go. 10 minutes, that's all I need to commit too.

7. I need to figure out how to eat everything, but in moderation. If I don't allow myself some other foods, I know I'm going to burn out. I'm afraid - there's that word again - that if I eat anything other than 0% greek yogurt and blueberries, that I will fall out of this and, well you know, fail. But even as I write this, I know this is not the truth.

8. Goals, where I want to go, what I want to accomplish, its all there, to be had, isn't it?

Fear - didn't realize this until right now - Fear looms big. Wow... ok, need to munch on that...

That's it for now - thanks for reading my blog. Any thoughts, ideas, reflections you have would be greatly appreciated! thank you :)


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
KATRINAKRAUT 1/20/2013 3:27PM

    Yup. Especially #7. The sort of "all or nothing" attitude that is super dangerous. Take the humanity out of living. So glad youo feel you have your groove!

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FIRECOM 1/20/2013 1:49PM

    Well, I am impressed. You are doing all the right things. Success will be yours!!

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KLMEIRING 1/20/2013 1:35PM

    Wow! All of this learned in the first 40 days! I wish I could say the same, but I must be a slow learner. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. emoticon

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MANILUS 1/20/2013 12:55PM

    Sounds like you are doing great, congrats to you for trying again and succeeding! Every food has a portion and we must eat according to need. As long as you do that, you don't need to write off any foods. You will succeed with portion control and walking is great, go for it!!

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CEEMAY 1/20/2013 12:51PM are doing so great! Thank you for sharing your thoughts as you follow your path.


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UWPALUM 1/20/2013 12:29PM

    I'm on day 21, and day 40 does sound pretty important to me as well. Your committment to this process and lifestyle are motivational! Keep it up!

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STAY39 1/20/2013 12:06PM

    I love this!! Thank you for sharing your well written thoughts! I can really relate to you. I am looking forward to my day 40!! Keep on doing your thing- one day at a time!!

emoticon emoticon

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JLEMUS1 1/20/2013 12:00PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NIKO27 1/20/2013 11:48AM

    emoticon emoticon

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BABNURSE 1/20/2013 11:43AM

    I never used to eat breakfast now I do daily it makes a big difference. I never realized how much I lived in fear until my divorce. Boy when all of you fears come to light and you have to go forward it is amazing to discover all strong you really are. emoticon emoticon

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MRSSCHENCK 1/20/2013 11:40AM

Thanks for sharing your thoughts in this motivational blog. emoticon

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GALINAZ 1/20/2013 11:03AM

    It's a job is a good analogy but watch out - you don't get to retire! Better to call it a vocation or calling - something you want to do the rest of your life

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KANDOLAKER 1/20/2013 10:45AM

    So glad you and SP are working together so well - and I agree with your thoughts. I'm with you, I tend to "get it" better this time. Wishing you all the best on your journey - you are making it happen!

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MIZZKINS 1/20/2013 9:18AM

    I like the part about treating this as a job. As Work. And to not forget it. It just hit home for me. Thanks!

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NANCYJH64 1/20/2013 8:24AM

    Thank you for sharing. I think we all have similar thoughts, feelings and emotions. It is very helpful when you realize that we all share this common thread and are able to help each other.


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TRYINGHARD54 1/20/2013 8:15AM

    emoticon I believe we can eat anything we want and still lose weight as long as its all in moderation...

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Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.