Yes. Today, for the first time since my teen years, I had FUN at the mall. I was excited to look at styles and colors. Happy to use my coupons to get some good deals. And a miracle happened.... I left the mall feeling FANTASTIC about myself.
To understand why this is such a big deal, we need to go back in time. At one time in my life, I went years without going to a mall. Frankly, there was no point. There was nothing in the mall that would fit me. Everything I wore was ordered from a catalog. Because even the largest sizes at the plus size stores were too small for me. Even the IDEA of going clothes shopping in a store would bring about panic. If I did get dragged along somewhere, I could / would only shop for accessories. Again... what was the point?
For years now, I've been able to wear the plus sizes carried in the mall, but even then I left the mall feeling awful about myself. My sizes kept creeping upwards, things didn't fit right, and I really only had a few store selections that carried my sizes. It was BETTER, but not what I was wanting.
Today, I did something I haven't done in 20+ years. I walked into a non-plus size store (Old Navy) and bought clothes. In my size. I bought an XL. This had me nearly giddy. I felt NORMAL. I didn't feel people staring at me rudely, wondering what I was doing in the store. I felt like I fit in. That was pure bliss for this girl, who has always felt like people were staring.
Then it got better.
I went to Lane Bryant to buy bras. A wonderfully sweet salesperson did a fitting and helped me.
(Let's take a break here for a public service announcement: GIRLS! As you are losing weight, make sure you get a bra fitting!!!! Do NOT just buy the next size down in whatever cup size/brand/style you are used to! Your body is changing, and your needs might too! I was SHOCKED to learn I was wearing a bra much too big, and completely the wrong style to flatter me.)
Anyway.... since I was in the store, I decided to try on jeans since my 18's are getting a bit loose. Guess what?!?! 16's FIT! I haven't been in size 16 jeans SINCE I WAS 16!
I was so giddy that I did a happy dance, then texted a picture to my trainer.
(horrible picture, but the jeans FIT!)
I practically waltzed out of the mall. I consider today a complete non-scale victory. I ENJOYED shopping for clothes. And I left the mall feeling better about myself than when I went in. Victory, people. It's not all about the number on the scale. In fact, the number on my scale was up 2# due to monthly bloat. It's about achieving experiences we were deprived of. It's about seeing the results of our hard work and feeling the freedom to feel proud of ourselves.
This girl is feeling proud. In my size 16 jeans.