Saturday, January 19, 2013
As I've struggled on this journey to a healthy me, I've never expected my family to join me but for the most part they do. I have always said I need their support but I never told them how I needed that support. And then in some ways I would blame them for my failure. But it wasn't them, it's me. I need to learn to use my voice and ask for exactly what I need and they need to tell me what they need in return. Now we have agreements in place and they are posted on the fridge. And they are below.
1. Mom will make meat meals every other day. Mom won't force you to be vegetarian but we need to eat better than we have.
2. You will try what is made. Take a small portion if your not sure. (This has always been a rule but oh so much more important now with the different meals and ingredients).
2.a. Mom agrees to still make bread/buns and other baked goods. We agree that she can try to make them healthier.
3. Junk food (and we keep a list of what we agree is considered junk food) will not be brought into this house. If you feel the need/desire to eat or drink it, try to do so outside of the house (i.e. at school, go out for lunch, etc.).
4. We will not ask Mom to eat out at this time.
5. On special occasions (Birthdays, Easter, Christmas, etc.), Mom will allow breaking of rule 3 to some extent. But the rule of not eating or drinking them in front of me is in effect.
6. On birthdays, sleep overs, gamer nights, etc., I will make or buy what you want to serve to your friends.
1. When Mom is exercising we will not bother her unless it's a true emergency. Anything else can wait till she's done.
2. We understand Mom enjoys exercising alone. When she is out walking/running we will not text the heck out of her on when she will return - We will follow Rule 1. (this is more for summertime when I go out before they are up)
2.a. Mom agrees to leave a route, time she left the house and estimated time of arrival. If Mom makes a big change to the route, she will text and let us know and give us a new arrival time.
2.b. Mom agrees that on weekends we can join her in her walks/runs. We agree that Mom will not hold up her exercise time by making her wait for us to wake up.
3. We agree to participate in hikes and outings when we have no other plans/obligations. (Not ever a problem with my kids as they love going hiking and exploring with me, it's the hubby). Mom agrees to let us know in advance when and where she will be going.
4. Mom agrees to make more time to play soccer, shoot hoops or tennis with us. We will help with house/yard work to give her more free time.
These are concessions we as a family have put in place this time around, not just "my rules". Having the kids involved in helping develop them has I think helped us to come to an agreement and a silent way for the family to support me while I fight to change my lifestyle. I will admit there was a lot of discussion while making the junk list. We made it so that we had to either all agree or debate the merits/pitfalls of that item. This helped to teach the kids (and hubby) about some of their choices and why I don't like them and they in turn gave some pretty good arguments. This time, the whole atmosphere in the house feels different. It's positive and supportive.