The Ugly Truth
Saturday, January 19, 2013
The truth is ugly. It always is. Nobody actually likes to admit their problems. Excuses, so much prettier than the truth.
The truth is, I am scared. Scared of what? Reality. Facing the truth. Everything.
I am am afraid will fail, but the truth is I HAVE failed, mostly because I am afraid. It is easier to give up. Distract myself, with a drink, a cookie, a homemade chocolate cupcake. Instant gratification. Instant comfort.
The mirror tells the truth. So does the scale, and my pants. I miss my clothes.
Most days I don't let it get me. I will keep trying, I tell myself. I have been trying. Then I have a drink, a cookie or a homemade cupcake and I feel better.
Why doesn't the scale move? The truth, I haven't given it a chance to move. There is that saying, the more things change, the more they stay the same. I added exercise, Zumba in fact, which is great, but it also made me VERY hungry, so I added more calories. Those trackers that let you eat more if you workout are tricky, that simply does not work for me.
For what feels like the hundredth time, I am recommitting myself. I have support, should I chose to use it. I am scared, but I realize it is okay to fail, so long as I keep trying. Again and again.
Time to face my fears. Time to face the truth.