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Celebrating A Year With SparkPeople


Saturday, January 19, 2013

This week, I celebrated my 1 year anniversary of adding SparkPeople to my life. What a difference this had made! This time last year, I remember being at the end of my rope with myself... Lots of feelings... Failure, hopelessness, anger, sadness, disappointment. I felt like I was on my way down... And why should I have felt that way? I had just been given the gift of a lifetime... A new kidney! After my transplant, I slowly realized that it wasn't my failing kidney itself that was making me feel so tired all the time. My habits were just as hurtful as my kidney that no longer worked. It took me a VERY long time and a LOT of soul searching to get to the point of deciding to do something. But a year later, nearly 50 pounds lighter... I am so glad I did make that decision! I now feel like I am living the life that I felt I was missing out on for so many years. But as I look back on the last year, I know now more than ever that this is a battle I will fight every day for the rest of my life. I am a food addict... Self discovery is hard... Taking ownership of what "is" is hard.. But I am worth it. There are still days I feel like I want to give in, but I thank God everyday that my inner voice (and whoever else may be helping me out up there) reminds me that I didn't get here by giving in, and that I need to continue this fight. So that even when I do fall down (and I do!), I get back up again. I still don't trust myself not to track my food. The days that I've skipped have proven that I shouldn't! This is still an uphill battle, but one that I am still committed to. I hope and pray that I never let myself give up this commitment. My eyes have been opened to so much over this last year. I don't want to close them again. I'm learning so much about myself. Not just with my weight issues, but with other personal issues I've struggled with as well. I don't know who out there is an Oprah fan, but I remember hearing her one time saying something about finding the best version of ourselves. And I think that is the quest that I am on right now. I'm trying to find the best me that I can. I'm finding that instead of just WISHING, I am now DOING. Things that I always thought about doing, but then put it aside, I am now putting into action. I want to continue down this fragile path I've been making for myself. But, I know it is still fragile... I say this because my addiction to food is still there. I think I need to know it is there so I don't forget to stay cautious of it. Does that make sense? Anyways, today, I am wishing myself and anyone else out there celebrating any kind of personal achievement, a big congratulations! Anything worth a celebration is worth fighting for. Here is to continuing the fight in 2013...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
DACHI9 1/19/2013 1:39PM

    What a heart-warning story. Continue on down the road to accomplish everything you want and need. Stay positive and we are all pushing you along! emoticon

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JANIGURL 1/19/2013 1:31PM

    Congratulations !!! Way to go !!!
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