Saturday, January 19, 2013
Some days, it is hard to wake up because I did not get enough sleep the night before; other times it is hard because of the early hour and the darkness. It may because my bedroom is cold and I would rather stay under the covers, or maybe just because the bed feels so darn comfortable. And then there are the times I do not want to get up because I do not want to do what I am getting up to do.
Yesterday I woke up pretty easily. I think I still had caffeine in my system from the day before.
Today feels like a day off. I don't have to be to work until 2:00 p.m. I think it is a pretty short shift, maybe just four or five hours. Then I have two whole days off! I don't go to either job on Sunday or Monday. I am really looking forward to my days off. I am excited about the opportunity to sleep in, eat out, get some cleaning done, do homework, and just do whatever I please. So why, I wondered, did I struggle to wake up this morning?
As I thought about it, I realize I have put a lot of pressure on myself to accomplish all kinds of everything in just three days. I am not allowing myself down time. Refresh time. I feel such pressure to do this and do that, get this done and get that done, finally accomplish this-that-and-the-other-thing, and get some extra sleep to boot. Now that I recognize this, I can step back and reevaluate. What can I reasonably hope to accomplish this weekend. How can I relax and recharge, but not be a sloth and later regret my whole weekend? I can work on accepting my humanness, my need for a time of relaxation, and my finiteness (my inability to "do it all").