Some of you might remember that I had a Doctor's appointment set for Tuesday. It was a general check-up, plus I wanted to bring up my stomach issues (which seem to be growing, rather than waning).
I've thought long and hard about what I was going to write about. I want to keep this blog real, and informative without infringing on our private lives too much. But sometimes things happen in life, things that cause me to not have the ability to blog all week. How do you account for that to your readers? I could say that I was "unwell", but that doesn't hold readers attention, and it's not being true to them either. What I've gone through this week has really upset my weight loss, and my mental balance. I need to address it, because it might not go away anytime soon. It's not something that can be glossed over, ignored or shoved aside.
In case you missed it, I have PCOS which is a big cause of infertility in women. I am one of those women who are infertile. We have been discussing with my family doctor, the medication we wanted to use in November and we started using it in December. I wanted to keep all of this between me, Dan and a few close relatives. I don't mind people asking me about weight-loss advice, but people pestering me about babies is too much. We will have one when we have one. So I didn't want the whole world to know. I also despise unwarranted advice, or people "telling" us what we should do. I do owe you guys the truth, however.
I wanted to talk to my Doctor about the complications of the medication I was on in December. I have a very bloated and slightly distended stomach, it feels like my skin is tight and I'm carrying around a beach ball under my skin. I'm not able to exercise at all. Even walking around makes me very very fatigued. I've gained 4" on my waist (so I look close to 50 lbs heavier), and I've probably gained at least 6 lbs since Sunday morning. I've been nauseated and when I haven't been, I've just been very uncomfortable with aches and pains in my abdomen.
Unfortunately, my Doctor didn't examine me at all. I told him of all the discomfort, and he replied by saying I need to "relax and enjoy life." I was a bit surprised by that. Then when I told him that I've had on-going stomach muscle issues, and that I can't run or do Yoga he said that maybe I should try an exercise bicycle instead and shrugged it off. My concerns felt like a slap in the face to say the least.
I also tried a local walk-in clinic and talked to a Nurse Practitioner who is great with women's health, and she had no idea the complications of my medicine either. She asked if I had a fever and if I was gassy. When I told her the problem was liquid building up in my uterus and abdominal cavity, she shrugged it off too and said that I would have swollen ankles. (Even though I have a very swollen stomach already? and swollen ankles are not a symptom of the hyper-stimulated ovaries I was concerned that I had) I left there in tears and still no answers.
So that leads up to now. I've been very uncomfortable all week. It is uncomfortable to walk around, to do laundry, to cook, anything. I get tired very easily, and if I let my stomach get empty I get very nauseous. It's a very rough mental game I'm playing right now. I'm still trying to stay within my 1500 calories, but seeing my weight go up everyday is really really hard. I'm not throwing in the towel and going over my calories and bingeing. But it's also hard to eat healthy food when you feel tired and sick and it's so damn hard to move around! Getting veggies has been really really hard.
I get the winter-blues pretty badly this time of year, and the Nurse practitioner did say that women on fertility medication can end up being very emotional (of course she said that probably because I was bawling my eyes out the whole time, poor lady) with their hormones out of whack. It doesn't help that Dan is out of town too this week, and wont be back until sometime next week.
So on that note, I'm letting you all know that I'm not going to be doing "New foods for 2013" at the moment. I barely have energy to heat up food, let alone go grocery shopping and prepare a new-to-me meal. Heck, I haven't even had the energy to sit at my computer this week and still have Christmas decorations up that I can't get down! I promise I wont forget about it, because I'm really excited to try new foods.
In other news, The Hobbit is a good read if you have time to kill, Portal 2 is still a fun game to play on the 1000th play through, and Family Guy Multiverse is really easy to play and fun so far.
Oh, and please don't watch sappy drama movies if you have the winter-blues. That should be a rule.
And! Sorry I don't have photos to post. I literally have done nothing all week, and have hated it. I did some walking on the treadmill two days ago, and decided not to post the photo because about 13 minutes in I was already sweating. I was going SO slooowww, and really ashamed of myself. So no photos of that! And no way you guys are getting photos of my awkward gi-norma-belly, and ill-fitting clothes! Nuh-uh!
Taken from: daphnealive.com