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From Owwie to Loopy

Friday, January 18, 2013

Wonderful sweet dentist worked me in at 8:30 this morning, despite the fact that I did not have an appointment. Buttered me up with sweet nothings and kind words, all kinds of compliments about how pretty my teeth were and what good care I took of them. He just had to show me off to his friend across town, oral surgeon. Set me up for a date and off I went to meet him. What an ego builder that he was so eager to see me, that he immediately rearranged his morning schedule so that we could spend quality time together at 10:00.

What a gentlemen! Did not keep me waiting at all but greeted me at the door. Next thing I knew, he was sweeping me off my feet and back to a private room where we could spend some "quality time" together. Seeing as I did not have a driver waiting, he decided we could forego the iv appetizer and go straight to a local. Three shots later, I was Finally feeling no pain. That's when the white gloves came off and the blue gloves went on.

Two attendants restrained my head and shoulders while my new gentleman friend attacked me with a jackhammer and forcibly removed my prized tooth. As soon as HE was satisfied, he dismissively left me there, shocked and wondering what in the world just happened. What nerve! He even stuck me with the bill! Definitely NOT the way to treat a lady. At least he had the decency to leave me a tip (or two) and a gift certificate for after dinner mints from a local pharmacy.

In just a few short hours, I went from unbearable pain, to an mental loopity loop ride, which I understand will last as long as my supply of mints does not run out.

Seriously, if they can make silencers for guns, why on earth haven't they invented some for dental drills.
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