Friday, January 18, 2013
It seems that this time of year brings out the analyst in me. I really evaluate what I'm doing, what's holding me back from attaining my goals, and in the case of my weight work, how and why I sabotage myself. Here's what I've come up with during my last bout of introspection:
I have to want to reach my goal more than I want to do whatever temptation is trying to seduce me at the moment.
What does that mean? I think I've gotten a little comfy now that I've left the point where my weight was a huge deal for me. As I've whittled off some pounds (and figured out how to do it - thank you SP) I've reached a better weight that takes pressure off my psyche and my knees. And for some reason that makes me vulnerable to those temptations
. So when someone brings a piece of chocolate pie to me I don't evaluate it I just eat it. I've never really come to terms that I am a person who doesn't crumble when offered sweets, who doesn't order french fries and a burger when she goes to lunch with friends. I can focus on it, make it happen, take off some weight but I still think I should be able to eat anything I want. And then I backslide.
I have a friend who battled alcoholism for years. She's in great shape today, thank God. But she told me once that while she was making that transition to sobiety every day she would wake up and say "I am not drinking TODAY." That's all she could commit to. It took her a long time to get to the point where she would wake up and say "I'm not a drinker."
I think that's the missing step for me. Right now I'm back to "I'm eating intelligently today."
The weight will begin coming off again with that attitude. But where I'll WIN that battle with my weight is when I wake up knowing that "I'm an intelligent eater."
That's when the weight will come off and stay off. That will be when I will begin really living the management life style. As I said, I'm not there yet. I'm still focusing on "this day only" to lose more weight. But I am now aiming to attain the level where my lifestyle has really changed, where I've become an intelligent, healthy eater who uses portion control and restraint to remain healthy. I've been doing this for 2 years and I just never clearly saw this before. I just had to figure this out for myself.
Deficit count for Thursday? -594