Friday, January 18, 2013
Eating will never, ever make it better. Eating might be comforting short term, but in the end it will only make you feel worse.
I would be lying if I said I never craved unnecessary sweets (my drug of choice) in the last few weeks -- but I've mostly resisted. They won't help me & they certainly wouldn't make my situation any more bearable.
Yes, it hurts. It hurts a lot. But you can't have great joy without great sadness. It's the yin & yang of life. The only way to get thru it is to just let yourself feel whatever you're feeling. Numbing yourself with food or anything else can never be anything other than a delaying tactic.
It gets better. Every day. Which isn't to say it's easy, just that if you're open to it, the light at the end of the tunnel gets a little brighter every day.
Right now it's very hard for me not to relive Simba's last few days & they weren't good - altho even in the darkest hours there were a few good moments that help ease my mind. But I know that as time goes on, these memories will fade and all those better memories will resurface. There are way more good memories than bad; it's just hard to reach them right now.
I always say to others in this situation that your loved one loved you, too, & they would want you to be happy. And I know this is true. And I believe that Simba is waiting for me with my other animal companions that came before him.
So what does help? Caring for others. Exercise. Nature (it's unfortunate that we're getting an arctic blast right now so that one is rather hard to enjoy). For me, obviously, blogging. Allowing yourself to feel your feelings however painful that might feel.
And, of course, the kindness & caring of friends & even strangers. Thank you for caring, for listening & for reaching out.