Friday, January 18, 2013
I believe that a lot of my weight issues have to do with being dumped. By someone I considered a best friend a long time ago. After my mother died, I gained some weight (about 20 pounds), and this friend finally told me that she really didn't like being around overweight people, so the friendship was over! That was the first time that I realized (incorrectly) that my worth as a person was in how I looked, not in who I was on the inside. Yesterday, someone pointed out to me that, while this person was mean, rude, etc. she may have done me a favor. Because of how she treated me, I am a kind, good person. Maybe subconsciously, I decided I didn't want to be like her. So, now I have a choice. Embrace that kind person or continue to de-value myself. This was such an eye-opener. I discount when someone talks about what kind of person I am because that's how people should be. But that makes it no less noteworthy. I AM a kind person and I only have one other person to be kind to - me. And I think I finally feel like I deserve it. For 25 years I have felt unworthy and now I almost want to write this person and say "thank you" for making me the kind of person I am today!