Friday, January 18, 2013
Sunday was such a good day. Me and my shopping buddies went out to spend the last of our holiday gift cards. Gossip and shoe shopping and, of course, a giant meal and drinks to wrap it all up. As I sat there, laughing it up over my chili cheeseburger and bottomless fries I thought to myself how good life is.
Fast forward a few hours and I was praying for death. I had a pain in my abdomen like nothing I had ever felt before. It felt like getting stabbed while being crushed to death. It hurt to sit, to stand, to lay down. I took a shower hoping the hot water might ease my muscle aches. I became so dizzy and lightheaded that I vomited. That was my brightest and final red flag. I headed to the ER.
I was worried my appendix had burst. Maybe it was typhoid. Mad cow? Do people still get mad cow? My mind was racing as I waited to be admitted. What was a grand mystery to was easily diagnosed once I described my pain and it's location. Gallstones. What an ultrasound would soon reveal were a whole mess of gallstones, nearly filling a massively inflamed gallbladder. The docs said it had to come out. Immediately.
As I was prepped for surgery the doctors explained that the function of the gallbladder is to help the body process the fat we eat. And I had run mine into the ground. Made it work too hard for too long and now it was just 'screaming' inside me. Of course genetics play a factor, but the honest truth is that I at myself to emergency surgery. It was a tough pill to swollow.
The procedure went smoothly. In and out in just over an hour. I have 8 staples, 3 small incisions and a jp bulb collecting drainage (muy sexi). It hurts to stand, sit up straight, walk, sit down, go up and downstairs and to change clothes. I can't sleep right because I have to lay flat on my back. And I worry about needing my painkillers so often. It is bleeping awful for me right now.
And the part that the worst of it all is that I did it to myself. By being selfish and short-sighted. By going for immediate, temporary satisfaction. By not caring about myself and after myself the way I should. In decade upon decade of poor food choices I led myself right here, in bed, informed, recovering from an emergency surgery that could have been prevented.
But very little good comes out of kicking your own butt. So I have decided to use my time as an invalid to develope an attack plan. I am reading everything I can. Tips and tricks and insider's tips. So that when I am back on my feet and eating solid food again I can make better choices, get healthy and stay that way. There is an old diet mantra that "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels". Well, there is a flip side to that. Nothing tastes so good that I would ever put myself through the pain and struggles of this week. NOTHING. Everyday I am getting a little stronger. And hopefully a little smarter.