I can hardly believe that it has been almost six months since I last wrote a blog. I realize that I have been going through the motions of life recently. I felt drained of joy, energy, purpose, agency, and most importantly balance. These wounds were mostly self-inflicted and definitely exacerbated by a perspective of victim hood. I do have a choice to be happy - to not let others choices affect me.

every year, I like to pick a theme to give me focus for the year. This year, I am working on mental health. After such an all-encompassing and intense experience in grad school, I feel the need to wade through all of the noise of my life and hone in on the things that truly matter for me going forward.

Last semester, in my leadership class, we developed our purpose statements... mine is to nurture the development of others. I love helping people define and reach their goals, especially goals that they previously thought were impossible (this partially explains why I adore sparkpeople). But, the problem with having such an outward facing purpose is that it can lead one to forget to work on yourself. That's why this year is my time to center myself.

Now, why mental health? This encompasses so many facets of my life and directly targets finding happiness. In order to mentally centered, I must focus on taking care of my body and my spirit.

So far, I have identified three initiatives that I will be incorporating into my life:

1) Meditation - I am absolutely committed to this. I believe that having been plugged in 24/7 into a school culture built entirely on excess, I need to cull away the distractions from my life and find my inner sense of peace. I've already bought a book with a 28 day program and I am thrilled

2) Reading - I am coming to realize that many of the outlets I used to have for dealing with stress or simply reflecting have disappeared from my life. Growing up, I finished a book every other day. Up until yesterday, it had been over a year since I had finished a book unrelated to school. I also used to write stories. These were great escapes that still enriched my mind.

3) Fitness - I miss being strong. I miss feeling proud of myself. I miss taking care of myself. I know what to do and for the first time in two years, I know that I am committed to doing the work. Jillian Michaels 30-Day Slimdown starts on Jan 24th (when I am finally finished traveling). I have already been thinking about the new healthy recipes that I want to try. I am itching to go grocery shopping!

4) Sexy Back - Strangely enough, I used to feel much sexier when I was heavier. So project number four is bringing sexy back. First things first, I am signing up for pole dancing classes. I took classes two years ago for several months. It is an incredible workout and yay... makes me feel sexy. I am also committing to putting time into my appearance. I want to feel good about myself.

5) Leaving the bottle - My hope is that this will simply be a result of all of the other things that I will be doing to promote mental stability. But, the raging grad school culture needs to stop for me. I don't feel as healthy and in control when I do drink. Goal is limit this to two nights per week with no more than two drinks.

So much stuff to fit in a day!

7:45 am wake up
8:00-8:45 am work out
8:45-9:00 am shower
9:00-9:20 am meditation
9:20-9:45 am finish dressing
9:45-9:55 am cook breakfast/pack lunch
10:05 am First class

Breakfast Rotation:
Oatmeal
Protein Boosted Smoothie
egg sandwich on english muffin
Greek Yogurt with pumpkin flax granola and fruit

Lunch Rotation:
Veggie chili
Roasted Veggie Wraps
Leftovers
cilantro lime chicken sandwich
Fajitas/tacos
Arugula Salads
Salmon Wrap
Greek Souvlaki Wrap