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    ELLGEEBEE   1,038
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Exhausted!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

I forgot how much working out HARD wears me out. This is kind of a problem because for me personally, I only maintain motivation to lose weight if I have a combination of strict diet and tough exercise. If I don't incorporate intense exercise into my routine, I'm less likely to make healthy eating choices and more likely to fall off the wagon. I like exercising, especially the feeling of accomplishment I get when I'm done. I would really like it if exercise gave me energy like it is supposed to, but often times that is not the case! The past two days I have felt like a zombie at work and have had trouble focusing, partly due to the fact that I have been so sore and it's hard to move, but mainly due to my feeling like I want to go lie down in a corner and take a nap!

I've tried to figure out what else may be affecting this - I make sure to get plenty of sleep, I eat a clean diet, drink plenty of water... I even went to my doctor to have a physical and bloodwork performed to determine if there is an underlying biological cause to my tiredness. The doctor couldn't find anything and suggested my working out may be the only culprit, which sucks for me because I can't convince myself to ease up or cut back on working out at all.

I know I didn't sleep well last night so I'm going to try to get to bed early tonight and make sure I get a good 8 hours of rest. I just hope I fall asleep swiftly, I tend to lie in bed for quite some time before sleep eventually claims me. There's a lot on my plate right now and I admit I'm pretty stressed. I'm hating my job and having absolutely no luck finding a new one. I decided to take this semester off from grad school to focus on finding a job, and completing my weight loss goals - I haven't told my parents that I'm taking a break though, and I'm stressed about their reaction. I'm living at home with them again, which is stressful in itself! I have an opportunity to move in with a really awesome girl, but she is waiting on the OK from her landlord to get a roommate and it's been almost a week so I'm getting nervous that those plans will fall through. Even if I do get to move in with this girl, which would be so nice, it would be pretty pricey and I'm already anticipating financial strain. All these thoughts keep running together over and over in my mind and they are dragging me down, and I wish I could just let go and trust in myself and God's plan/destiny to lead me to the right place.

I'll admit that I am also really struggling with eating well right now. I've been doing great so far but the cravings and temptations I keep coming across are almost unbearable! I used to be able to look past sweets and junk food and automatically go for healthier options, but over the past several days it has been a battle and I have had to constantly remind myself to keep the eye on the prize. This mental struggle is also exhausting and I am optimistic that after I stick to these good habits for a couple more weeks I'll start to feel better.

Time to finish some laundry and then wind down before bed. Goodnight all!
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