Thursday, January 17, 2013
I was looking at my sparkpage and out of nowhere I decided to change my ticker.
Yes I had lost 30 pounds but I have to face reality that I basically lost all of that weight a long time ago and hey, yes itís great I lost those 30 pounds but I feel like that was so long ago and I need to focus on what Iím doing right now.
I went to the doctor a few weeks ago and my weight was 182 and I am now 175.
I think 182 is my new official starting weight.
It kind of felt like I was holding onto those 30 pounds and saying ďOh well I am sucking at losing weight, but hey I did lost 30 pounds so ití s okay is I donít lose anymore, itís okay if I am stuck and I give up.Ē
Iím not sure if anyone understands that but that is what I have been feeling for months now and I didnít even realize it. I was proud of that weight I lost but I was also using it as an excuse to just stop.
Every time I stopped working out or started eating junk I went back to that mind set of ďwell itís okay you worked so hard alreadyĒ.
Blah, Iím so tired of it.
I had a 30 pound crutch that was basically not helping me at all; it has just been stopping me.
Today I found out my husband ordered pizza and at first I was like ďcrap!Ē but I will have a slice and call it a day and I was going to have a rest day, but instead I will work out.
There has to be a balance for me, yes I want to lose weight but I also donít want to forever never eat the things that I do love. Are they healthy? Heck no, but in moderation itís okay.
I adjusted my food tracker for the day and I am still at a perfect range and I ate good things today so a slice of pizza wonít destroy my hard work. Plus a little exercise will really help.
Itís tough finding a medium, a cozy spot where you can exercise, lose weight and eat the occasional fun foodz, and not feel like you are starving.
Deprivation will not help.
182 is my new number and the initial 30 pounds will always be on my mind but I wonít let it hinder the rest of my journey either.
I still have another 35 pounds to go and I canít wait to say adios to that too.