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Proof That Vegans Are Odd.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Do you know what I love?

Kale chips.

Dehydrated, raw, kale chips. I get a bag of "Southwestern Ranch" kale chips, and I promise myself that I won't eat the whole bag. I'll only eat half...AND then I eat the whole bag...but it's okay. Want to know why?

Because they're KALE CHIPS.

The brand I get is vegan. The "ranch"isn't really ranch at all. It's a strange blend of nutritional yeast and spices. I believe they may also use magic, and perhaps addictive drugs, because I crave them absolutely every day...but that's okay...because they are KALE CHIPS.

Do you know what else I love?

Beyondmeat. It's this freaky, science experiment fake meat that Whole Foods sells. I crave it daily too. It's low in fat, low in carbs, high in protein....and probably the result of stolen alien technology...but I don't care! It's awesome.

I just gorged on both of these foods. I am about ready to pop, because I am filled with awesome alien-magic food.

My family and friends think that my obsession is strange. My little brother looks at the kale and runs for the nearest Burger King. That's okay. That leaves more kale for me!

That's all I wanted to say. Carry on, Sparkers.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DS9KIE
    yea we are sooo crazy for eating fruits and veggies.
    1890 days ago
    I have never heard of the Beyondmeat that you talked about. Don't go to Whole Foods much since I try to eat fresh veggies mostly. But I can see a trip to WF in my near future. Great tip! emoticon
    1890 days ago
  • BILBY4
    Ha, another kale addict. I'v seen you sneaking with jittery hands around the farmers' market.
    1890 days ago
    It's true Snowjester. There are even people who think we eat food that lacks flavor. I was told that today. Apparently, because we don't eat meat, we have forgotten what "real" food tastes like.

    1890 days ago
    Vegans are odd? You mean not everyone understands my love of roasted brussel sprouts and the reason I'm panicking because I just finished my last batch??? Impossible. emoticon
    1890 days ago
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