Thursday, January 17, 2013
After some serious thought time... I guess it is time to figure out the root cause of this depression.
I am not interested in taking antidepressants, that will cloud the issue ... I need to really figure out the problem and change it. Getting up in the morning is getting harder and harder. Finding the desire to move and make me healthier is waning. I know I want to, and I know I can... I just cannot seem to DO IT.
Maybe it is just cabin fever times a thousand.
It seems silly when I put it into words, but my joys in life are few and short lived. I try to talk about them, but am shut down with everyone has it hard, then the comparison of lives begins. I do not have a horrible life, I should be content in it - after all that is what the Bible says...be content with what you have. I don't want things, I want to feel human again. To feel like a woman. Dare I put out there to feel cherished, and appreciated by the ones I live with.
I hope that tonight's meeting will spark a newness, a desire. The road I am sure will be slow going.... I just really really want to get on that damn road!
Something to look forward too.....