Thursday, January 17, 2013
I feel like I have been in a fender bender . . with a bus
. My body was in such shock last night that it HURT to SLEEP. I could feel my muscles twitching and retracting. I could also feel the knots forming in my shins and shoulders. I dreamt about Dolvett from Biggest Loser. And not good dreams. We didn't even have sex!
So how did my life almost end at the tender age of 29. I put in the p90X Plyometrics DVD. I didn't know any better. It was only my 3rd day of P90x. I haven't been going in any sort of order because I haven't had time to buy my
yet. When the video initially starts, they tell you it is not for beginners. I don't consider myself a beginner because I am a workout addict. I love hard workouts. The host guy then says, "This is the Grand Daddy of all workouts. This is the most difficult X workout so if you are just starting, you may not want to try this one." That STILL didn't scare me away. I wish it would have.
Derrell didn't join me this time. Instead, he laid on the couch and was my "encouragement coach". By the way, what in the hell is an encouragment coach??? Oh, you are the person who is going to piss me off with your positive comments while I am gasping for air. Oh, okay. At least I am prepared. Almost immediately, this DVD is hard. Just imagine jumping, leaping, and jogging for an hour straight, simultaneously. It is hard! Doing jumping jacls for 20 seconds is hard work. It is like jumping jack for a solid hour. The squat jumps killed my quads. All the sports related exercises, I loved because I love sports and it gave me a visual that kept my mind off the pain. Leaping across the room "like a kid jumping over a creek" wasn't hard but left me breathless. At one point I got dizzy and had to take a second to get my bearings. That was only 15 minutes in. About 8 minutes later, I felt like throwing up so I had to pause for a second to stop the shakes and acid from creeping up my throat. 32 minutes in I just let out a huge , "Jesus!" But Jesus is always busy on Wednesdays
. With about 20 minutes left I actually whimpered. I don't whimper or whine. But I did. I wanted it to just go away and leave me alone. The damn trainers on the DVD looked whipped! They were struggling too! The entire time Derrell is saying, "keep breathing babe" "Grab water babe" "Your own pace, go at your own pace" "Wow, babe you are doing good!" "Slow down Nik!" He is couch coaching. When the video was done, he wanted to high-five! I looked at him with eyes of death. I gave him the high-five but I stomped off and immediately got in the shower. Makeup was smeared acros my face. Sweat fell off of me and my ponytail tie was hanging on to one clump of hair. When I got out of the shower, I wanted to cry. My body was spazzing in ways I couldn't understand. But I did it. And though I thought I would faint at times, and though I thought I would have a stress-induced asthma attack (I don't have asthma), I made it. Will I do the Plyometrics DVD again? Not for a long, long time.