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Safety, The Internet, and Being Wise.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

A Spark Buddy of mine is visiting San Diego, and we have plans to meet up this evening for dinner. We have been exchanging emails this week sorting out the where and when. I wanted to save her the cost of a cab to the restaurant, so I offered to pick her up from her hotel. She declined, saying that she preferred to meet our group there in the interest of "internet safety."

1. What?
2. Afraid to meet me?
3. What the heck is that all about?
4. What is she accusing me of?

^ All of those responses above, by the way, are complete crap!

Sure, I know I'm a great guy. But she doesn't know that, yet. She hasn't actually met me. I could be anyone, even someone who intends to do her harm. So I absolutely applaud her caution and wanted to share it here with my other Spark Buddies.

For all of us, but ladies especially, a little bit of caution and care in today's world is a good thing. And if you are meeting someone new and they take offense at your concern, take that as a sign to not meet them at all.

Personally, I am crazy excited about meeting another Spark Buddy in real life. And one of the first things I'm going to share with her is that I appreciate her taking steps to keep herself safe.

(The next thing I'll share with her is how fabulous I think she is, but that's another conversation!)

Be smart on the web, folks. Not everyone in real life is as amazing as all of us are. And this concludes your daily safety briefing.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMONEKP 3/5/2013 8:28AM

    great reminder

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SPEEDY143 2/17/2013 2:49AM

    You can never be too careful emoticon

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ASHPATCH11 1/24/2013 2:19PM

    wont she read this blog? lol thats good she is being safe! have fun meeting up i hope its a life tiem friendship!


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LYNDALOVES2HIKE 1/20/2013 8:40PM

    You've made a good point but then again, on a site such as this when you can follow someone's blogs over time, I think it gives us [me anyway] a good sense of the character of the other person.

After following your blogs for so long, I would let you pick me up from my hotel if the situation called for it emoticon but the chances are that if/when we meet, I'd be in my own car anyway. And I probably wouldn't agree to meet you in a dark alley, haha! By the way, I live just up the road in Orange County, so it's entirely possible we might meet one of these days, esp since my sister lives in La Mesa and I visit now and then.

But I agree with the idea overall that a woman by herself meeting a man in a distant city for the first time in person really should be careful and keep herself safe. Good for her and good for you!!
emoticon

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KATHIC2 1/20/2013 7:46AM

  So true.

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REMEMBER2BME 1/19/2013 3:28PM

    What a great reminder!

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LESLIELENORE 1/19/2013 2:03PM

    Wise words!

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BE-THE-CHANGE 1/18/2013 8:11PM

    emoticon

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SARAHSSUNSHINE 1/18/2013 2:24PM

    Great post and a great point! Something to always keep in the back of one's mind. :)

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SHRINKINGSHERI 1/18/2013 6:29AM

    emoticon for that reminder. Safety is important at any age!!!!!

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TENNISJIM 1/18/2013 6:16AM

    She is s smart lady

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_LINDA 1/18/2013 1:35AM

    Too true!! I have met some wonderful people here, but none in real life, but they have been kind to exchange their real names, phone numbers and addresses and suggesting I can google them to make sure they are who they say they are if I should ever be lucky enough to meet them someday -its easy when they are a college prof and are listed in a public directory and such things. But for sure, I would insist on a public meeting place first even with that. But I have to admit, I have never met a more nicer bunch of people online here. Not one nasty comment has ever been made to me. I sure can't say that about other web sites and chat places I have been in :( I very much envy you the pleasure of meeting a Spark friend -you are truly lucky!!
Enjoy!!!

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BUTEAFULL 1/17/2013 11:25PM

    I know people who have been burned in the internet dating scene so I understand her caution as well. She'll love you when she meets you I have no doubts in that dept

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2BEHEALTHYAGAIN 1/17/2013 9:27PM

    Never can be reminded too many times. For all you know, SHE could have been a female serial killer!!
emoticon

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JULIA1154 1/17/2013 7:58PM

  I appreciate your common sense reminder and the spirit in which it was offered - as well as your response to your cyber friend's approach.

Has it warmed up any down in SAN?

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GOING-STRONG 1/17/2013 7:04PM

    emoticon
Fabulous that you accepted her response in the spirit intended... Kudos to you both!

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LINDAK25 1/17/2013 4:50PM

    Great reminder! emoticon

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KARENLEIGH32 1/17/2013 4:37PM

    You are so right, we can never take enough steps to be safe!

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KAREN_NY 1/17/2013 4:07PM

    My favorite part: if you are meeting someone new and they take offense at your concern, take that as a sign to not meet them at all.

Entirely and completely true.
Thanks for putting it out there.

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WE_PA_FIT 1/17/2013 3:12PM

    thanks for the PSA!! ;-)

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FREES1 1/17/2013 2:19PM

    she is smart - and hopefully she has also told someone she knows where she is meeting you and when, when to expect her back, and will call her about 1/2 hour after you two meet to be sure that she sounds and is ok...

and have a great time!

Comment edited on: 1/17/2013 2:19:23 PM

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PATTISTAMPS 1/17/2013 1:46PM

    I honestly would not meet another woman let alone a man without having an "escape plan"... Public places, meet there, etc... It is sad that we have to do that, but as i understand it, Ted Bundy was charming! (not that I would consider you a Ted Bundy by ANY stretch of the imagination!!!!!!!) Good for your buddy for taking precautions! And you too! Just cuz you are a guy, doesn't mean you are safe. She also protects you when she protects herself..

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IVYLASS 1/17/2013 1:37PM

    A very good book to read on this subject is Gift of Fear. I applaud her for trusting her instincts.

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GINGERHAWK 1/17/2013 1:14PM

    First, this is a a great reminder to us all. Second, I hope you have an awesome time meeting your Spark buddy face to face!

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KIMCOLLINGS 1/17/2013 1:14PM

    Good reminder.

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FUNFROG79 1/17/2013 1:12PM

    Smart!

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RAINYFRIDAY 1/17/2013 12:31PM

    Very smart!


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LYNSEY723 1/17/2013 12:25PM

    Agreed!!

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GRACEBELL 1/17/2013 12:15PM

    I agree

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ABB698 1/17/2013 12:14PM

    So true and a great reminder! Have fun!

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IMIN2GENES 1/17/2013 12:00PM

    Kudos to her for being so proactive with her safety and kudos to you for recognizing it for what it was and not take it personally. Great reminder for us all!
Chris

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DRB13_1 1/17/2013 12:00PM

    emoticon

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PRETTYLILHEFFER 1/17/2013 11:56AM

    What a smart lady! You can never be to cautious! (Even though we know you aren't an axe murderer. :D )

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RACEWELLWON 1/17/2013 11:54AM

    Absolutely - can never be to careful - have good time.

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CHRISTINA791 1/17/2013 11:52AM

    A great reminder!

I met my first online friend in person back in the early days of the internet when I was 18 and barely out of high school. It even involved travel to another country (Not that Victoria to Seattle is a huge trek). I'm glad I learned to be safe and practical about it at a young age, because I was able to keep those rules in mind once it became a little more common down the road.

No one should feel bad about setting up boundaries for personal safety and no one should feel offended for being on the other side. Even my husband and I had bail-out plans when we met in person for the first time (he was about four hours away from me, and we met through mutal friends online). We'd been good friends for over a year and talked nightly, but you still never know.

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 1/17/2013 11:51AM

    Good for her! I applaud you as well for not taking offense to her reaction.

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THECRAZYMANGO 1/17/2013 11:48AM

    GREAT reminder! You could also include what not to share on the 'net. You don't always know who is looking at it. emoticon People do crazy things!

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AMSPARKER 1/17/2013 11:47AM

    That miss bubble sure has her head on straight !

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-DYET- 1/17/2013 11:47AM

    Very true!

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BOGUSANNIE 1/17/2013 11:43AM

    Very good tip!
Enjoy your time with her!

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WOLFKITTY 1/17/2013 11:41AM

    YAY! :) and Yes.

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