Making room for a new reality
Thursday, January 17, 2013
My desire for too much permeates every aspect of my life. As does my trepidation about say "no"to myself. My weight loss journey has helped somewhat, I started by eating the same amounts of better foods, but with time I have learned that if I do want cake, it can be eaten in mouthfuls rather than platefuls and that a bag of chips is not necessarily one serving size. And I have come to find in this way that I don't really miss as much as I thought I would.
But what about the other things?
I have too much stuff. I think it's very closely connected to my weight problem. I carry around more than I need. I go to address it. I get upset. I get overwhelmed. I go shopping. My closets are about to bust, dresser drawers sloppy and overflowing. Everything compromised for the sake of more. And truth be told, I don't even like much of it. So why is it still here? Why can't I just get off my butt and do something about it?
Last night I got fed up. Actually, if I'm honest, I got angry at myself. There was a fight within me that was my breaking point (very similar to how I got on my weight loss journey). I got a few garbage bags and started rampaging through my closet. It wasn't even tough decisions, anything that I was torn over, I kept. I can get that on the next pass. This was strictly a "why do I still have this, it's 2 sizes too big now" mission.
Three bags already filled. Three bags of stuff lighter. Three bags of uselessness that someone will find useful. Three bags of weight I don't need to worry about any more. And when I am done, I will have earned my shopping treat and I will buy things that I love. And I will never cram my drawers for the sake of fullness again.