Thursday, January 17, 2013
I have been listening repeatedly to a podcast on the importance of accepting myself as I am now, in order to successfully release weight and make life-long healthy changes.
It dawned on me that as I released weight this summer, only to regain it recently, I never really did this. I heard the messages about the importance of loving myself thin, and about needing to cultivate unconditional self-acceptance, but since I was losing kind of easily, I just thought "it will come when I'm at goal...".
But goal came and went. And I never did cultivate that love for myself. And life happened big time - many major crisis I couldn't have possibly for seen.
Immediately my self-loathing took over and the binging came back...along with the pounds.
As I listened today, I realized that I've spent my life loathing myself thin, focusing on getting to some elusive number on the scale with the belief that once I got there, I'd finally feel good about who I am. And I realized that this method hasn't worked, not once!
So I'm going to take in this podcast's lesson and really commit to accepting myself as I am, heavier weight and all, post-binge cycle and all. But I will take baby steps because I don't quite believe it when I say I love myself.
Today as I meditated, I repeated the mantra "I forgive myself. I am enough." over and over again. And as I look in the mirror, I say this to myself. For now, this will be my path to self-acceptance.