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QUILTINGB52
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Hope.........

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Today started out like many other days.....that 7:30AM wake-up to ..."Ann, here are your morning meds and I brought you toast with grape jelly". Without even rolling over in bed, I smile because Karen has brought me my "usual" for my Continental breakfast.

Today was also my bath day - a weekly event and it feels SO GOOD!! Thoughts of staying in that hot shower did cross my mind - but I had to get back to my room to dress and get ready for my Occupational therapy at 9:30AM.

Tracy took pictures of my legs, to send to the Certified Lymphedemist that trained her to handle my daily Compression Decogestive Treatments. Since they started this treatment, I have lost TONS of fluid and hoping to get a copy of the before and after shots.

If I can't get pictures - know this.....ANNIE HAS ANKLES....something I haven't seen in about 10 years!!! With most of the engorgement gone, I will be able to be a more compliant person - handling my own Lymph treatments, skin care and wrapping.

Had a 2PM appointment with OT and was looking forward to standing upright in the EZ STAND. But when I rolled into the OT room, I saw that old walker and knew today's plans would be altered. Without saying anything I rolled in front of it, moved my foot pedals aside and locked my breaks. They put the safety belt around and I tried many times to stand and grab onto the walker. They all still think there is some psychological problem that is keeping me from standing - I just wish I could share the pain I feel when I try to stand.

In my heart - I CAN DO ANYTHING. But reality is so far from the truth...it felt like I was standing tall, yet when Tanya showed me the picture of my attempt... discouragement slowly seeped into my thoughts.

Physical therapy always said to stand up in whatever way was comfortable for me.

Occupational therapy said that "my way" wasn't working - so let's try these other techniques (which I didn't think were working for me either). Logically - OT's way makes sense, but I don't have the strength in my knees and thighs to make their way work.

How can I not feel discouraged?

We ended our therapy with the EZ STAND. I got all strapped in, tried to think positive thoughts and tried to distract myself with the changing of shifts and other activities in the hall. I know that I didn't stand for 6 minutes...like I had on Monday. She set me back down in my chair and said she didn't know what else to try - but please don't lose HOPE. With that the tears silently slid down my face, she quietly unhooked the safety straps and we headed back to my room.

I have made NO physical gains in the last two weeks and already feel I know that her call to the health insurance will be futile. My last day with Occupational Therapy will most likely be on Friday, January 18th and my discharge will be on Saturday.

Where will I live?

My list contained five names - the first three places were full, but I could be placed on a list if I chose. The fourth one has (2) 1 bedroom apartments and several studio openings and I requested more information.

Thursday morning, their director and a Head nurse are coming here (to Cerenity) to give me an assessment. My evening nurse told me that they requested medical information, so they would have an idea of what I was dealing with before meeting me.

The smile has returned to my face - I have hope that I've found the next stage in life. Assisted Care Living...here I come. They have 1 BR apartments and everything is included except phone, cable and internet access. The insurance money I received, after my folks died, will help to pay for my stay, for at least 20 months (IF I need it).

By living "in the country" near my clinic, I'll be paying less than half what the rent costs are in the Metro Twin Cities area....YEAH!

Two weeks ago, after being released from Physical therapy, I created a chart to continue my exercises on my own time. I have continued to exercise on my own time - with just a few "tools of the trade" (dumbbells, wrist weights, and a mat) and I've continued to lose weight.

HOPE will still be part of my life - mainly because I'm too darn stubborn and bull-headed to give up. That SEVENTY-ONE POUND weight loss speaks volumes to me!!

This evening, when I was rolling through the hallways, several people stopped to ask if the care center had "put me on the payroll yet?" LOL

Yup...I have changed the lives of many here at Cerenity Care and they, in turn, have given me the HOPE I need to continue to try.......
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v STLOUISWOMAN
    SEVENTY-ONE POUNDS???? Annie, you are amazing. I'm so proud of you.....and your ankles!!!
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    1279 days ago
  • v EVWINGS
    Even when it's darkest, hope remains, because the light is on the other side. The gift given to you is a beautiful one i know you;ll embrace.

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    1284 days ago
  • v NOLAZYBUTT110
    Congratulations on your lost! Hope is all we have, never give up! G*d will bethere for you even when no one else is. Remember that! Praying for your success. Glad yoru able to get an assited lving apartment. becasue it snot alway easy to get one (here) . Hope it helps you ! susana emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1284 days ago
  • v SAMI199
    Hang on to hope-you have come so far in a short amount of time.You are stronger than you know & braver than you feel. I am cheering you on all the way-so listen for me-I'll be
    shouting "ANNIE-ANNIE-SHE'S OUR GIRL-GO ANNIE!!!!!"

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    1286 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/19/2013 8:02:39 PM
  • v MOMMA_BEAR_69
    Hi Annie. I have to say your blog filled me with inspiration...knowing that you are doing so well and are filled with HOPE!!!! CONGRATULATIONS on continuing to lose weight. Keep up your great work!!! I wish I had some magical information to share with you that would help you in standing.
    You remain in my thoughts and prayers daily. That I can and will do for you, my friend.
    Blessings and hugs,
    Helen

    BTW: Are you going into Assisted Living near where you lived? What are the plans? Hugs and prayers coming your way!!!
    1287 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/18/2013 9:35:09 PM
  • v DAWNWATERWOMAN
    You are doing so well Annie. I am so proud of you. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
    1288 days ago
  • v SAL1512
    Your good attitude is reflected in this blog!
    Sally emoticon
    1288 days ago
  • v LKWQUILTER
    You may think you are not making any progress but you sure are Annie. Your positive attitude and hope will help tremendously. Love your blogs and know that you give me hope too. WOW on loosing 71 lbs. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1288 days ago
  • v _KATHY
    I'm always happy to hear an update from you. No matter what. You handle each thing in stride and think as possible as you can. You are doing great with the weight loss and I'm sure that helps. You do inspire so many people with so many things. Keep on keeping on!
    1288 days ago
  • v 4DOGNIGHT
    Your post made me so happy. There is hope and progress in your life and 71 pounds is huge! There is a future for you!
    1288 days ago
  • v CARLANNIE
    Wow - 71 pounds is awesome! And so glad that they have found a way to help reduce the swelling - ankles are great! And that's awesome that you are continuing the exercises on your own, even when it hurts to do so. Makes me feel really, really guilty that I don't exercise more myself. So yes, you are an inspiration, even across the WWW. emoticon
    1288 days ago
  • v JLEE123
    Thank you for the post I've been hopeful curious and thinking of you. Trust knowing all will be well my friend. J
    1288 days ago
  • v STILLHERE1111
    Hope is essential, keep smiling!
    emoticon emoticon

    1289 days ago
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