Thursday, January 17, 2013
Today was a bad day, a really bad day.
I was perfect all night at work even though it was cold, wet, miserable and busy. I kept to my plan, only ate what I intended and drank enough water. All in all it should have been good but I couldn't turn my head off and I was having repetitive memories and chain of thoughts all night. When I got in I couldn't stop eating. I managed to only eat primal foods and kept it low carb but I ate and ate and ate, it was outrageous. Then, to make matters worse I just went to bed, i didn't go to cross-fit or Zumba, I just went to sleep.
When I woke up this afternoon I didn't go to the gym although I did work out a little to a DVD, just floor exercises but I got my HR up for about 30 mins before getting ready for work. I ate a normal primal breakfast, I even skipped the tea because I felt like I didn't need it. I got to work and all that head noise came back up. I ended up at a quick check, stocked up and just eat my heart out much to my partners amusement because I don't often buy food at work, just water and tea sometimes when it's too cold not too.
So now, here I sit full of remorse because I just ate a mountain of chocolate and not even good 90% stuff either. I ate crap because I have been feeling like crap since getting so triggered on Monday.
I am so unhappy with my life. This is not how I want to be living.