Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Okay, here I go...hmm.. now what? Been very desperate to get my act together, not going so well yet. Excited about this site and long for the health and look I so desire. So, what's wrong??? Hmm...exhaustion for one. Can't wait to get that CPAP and start getting some rest when I sleep. Years of sleep problems cured would help. But, what else?? Every time I start I self-defeat. So, why? i don't know. they say there's some benefit for you when you do that. Well, what the heck is beneficial? Perhaps my ridiculous need to rebel, to do what I want? Maybe my desire for instant gratification?? Is that it? How do I fix that? Seems some deep-rooted problems are at play..how long to fix them before I can move forward? Nothing seems to truly motivate me. Had people think I was pregnant.. devastatingly depressing but that didn't work. Had rather embarrassing things happen along the way..chairs broke, fell..hard, had comments, I sweat terribly...very mortifying. None of that did it. So what? I have every intention of doing what I need to do, just not sure what'll happen. Generally when I do well I lose about 30 pounds, then, I stop. I always allow life to interfere and then it takes me forever to re start. So......I want it, I do, it's a mountain of weight. I did it before, lost 75 pounds in about 6 months. I was 18 then. One child, no job...lot easier back then. Well, I know I can. I have all the answers, you know. I know what to do and how to do it, I've studied this subject for decades. I'm great at motivating others. How do I motivate me?? I'm quite a tough customer. UGH!!!!! I CAN do this. Now, I need I AM doing this and I KEEP doing this. Go MOTIVATE someone with your success, Evaana!