Wednesday, January 16, 2013
So over the past year I have been a roller coaster not only with my weight, but also my emotions too. As anyone can tell you those two come hand in hand... Last year, I was so proud of myself for hitting the 60 lb. mark and actually hitting 160 for the first time since middle school. As time went on, I did notice the pants getting tighter and tighter yet I did nothing. I was finding excuse after excuse after excuse. I was too tired to go to the gym. It was so much easier to go out and grab food at a restaurant than cook. Work was just so stressful.
Well, I finally realized that no excuse will cut it. It wasn't stress that set me back. It wasn't deprivation. For me, it was simply unrealistic expectations and a poor mindset.
I got down to a size 8 where I'd wanted to be my whole life and I was looking GOOD. That wasn't enough for me though. Whenever I looked in the mirror, I saw the Size 18 staring back at me. I kept pushing just to be *one size smaller*. Now let me tell you, with a bigger frame... a 6 is just too small for me. Yet, I didn't see that. I pushed and pushed until I broke.
Taking a step back makes you realize a lot.
1 - I miss feeling physically healthy. Not wanting a nap because you have no energy. I want to run around like a kid again because I have so much energy I could burst.
2 - Know your body and know how far to push it. I was never meant to be a supermodel, but I was meant to be healthy.
Finally #3 - Be happy with yourself regardless of weight. It's so easy to get caught up thinking "If only I was the next size down I would be so much happier." You need to be happy of who you are, not who you want to be if you are going to be successful. Be proud of whatever you've done (even if it's just taking the first step and joining SparkPeople or some kind of support system).
So part 2 of my journey and I'm 5 lbs down and so proud of myself. Before I sign off I want to share - what makes me so proud is not the loss, it's knowing that I've taken the step to get healthy. 35 +/- to go and I know I can do it :)