Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Actually its sick day number 2. I've been parked on this couch since I rolled out of bed at 930 and I feel like a big blob. I was hoping I would feel better today, and i do a little. But still lacking energy. I couldnt go back to work even if i was feeling better because I was still contagious till I got a full round of antibiotics in, which didnt happen till lunch time. So I was hoping I'd feel motivated to get some stuff done. But i dont really. I had a wave of energy last night and forced my husband to help me get things picked up a little since the weekend got by my without my usual putting everything back together routine happening. So last night we did the dishes, 2 loads of laundry, re-made all the beds with fresh linens, cleaned up the kitchen including sweeping and mopping with my new steamer cleaner and picked up the living room.And i wiped down all the door knobs. I REALLY hope no one else gets this.
So i thought with all that done, maybe today I would feel inspired to make a few healthy recipes like I've been meaning to but that hasnt happened yet. I still feel pretty wiped out.
i wish i could just relax and be sick when im sick. but i always feel guilty. I feel guilty for using sick days that I'm entitled to. Its crazy. I was actually kind of glad when the doctor told me I had strep throat. I was actually debating about going in yesterday before i went to the doctor. I'd been awake throughout the night with almost a 102 temp, crazy painful head ache and sore throat but when my alarm went off for work in the morning, my fever was down to 99 and i didnt feel that bad, although i still had the sore throat and headache. I HATE having to call my boss and tell her I'm not coming. I feel like people judge me for it. Is that crazy? I feel like people look at me like, "why are you sick all the time? why are you so unhealthy?" and I end up making up imaginary arguments in my head where I defend myself. So I was actually debating about going in. Firstly because there's no subs available since we're short on interpreters at the moment so I knew they would have to pull people to cover and I hate having to cover for people cuz it means throwing my schedule off, usually going to a different school, less breaks. So I hate for other people to have to do that. But I thought about it, trying to picture myself going through the day and just the thought of it was overwhelming and I thought you know what, I've been pulled to different schools like 5 times this year and had to cover for other people. It's my turn. I'm trying to be as healthy as possible. It's not my fault I get sick. I have two toddlers in daycare and I work in a school. It's gonna happen! And really if I had better health care and could afford to have my tonsils removed like I need to, I'd probably be sick less! So there! (see, imaginary arguments!)
Anyway, when I found out it was strep and I was too contagious to go even if i wanted to, I felt relieved actually. I wasn't just being a big baby! But i still feel a little guilty. And plus I'm always worried that I'll run out of sick days. I've used 4 and a half this school year. Last year I used them all. Which is fine, they are there to use but it would be nice to be able to store some up in case something serious happened. But oh well. I cant control these things. I cant stress about that. I have 2 toddlers. Sick days are bound to get used at this point. At least with Chris working from home most of the time, he can stay home with them if they need to be out most of the time.
It just sucks that I got thrown off track just when i was getting going! Why is it always like that with me. One step forward, two steps back. When I'm sick, I'm so unmotivated to eat healthy. Chris made me homemade chicken pot-pie - Whapham style (meaning the kind i grew up with) which is chicken and homemade white flour noodles in broth - not very healthy. But it was so comforting! I keep thinking I'll have some healthy smoothie but i haven't yet. I've had orange juice, thats as close as i got. It could be worse i guess. I'm just so inactive. I havent bothered weighing myself. No idea whats going on there but pretty sure i wont like it. I guess I'll just see on saturday. I cant wait till all this germiness is over and I can get back to the Y. I really miss it! I havent been since Zumba on Friday and I'm dying to go back to that and spinning. And i havent run since Satuday which was just a short 2 miles. I've been sooooo inconsistent with running, my endurance is shocking right now. I want to keep running. I just keep getting thrown off. So annoying cuz i really do feel so motivated to rock it out! But right now I just feel tired.
Ive got to go back to work tomorrow like it or not so i need to just accept today for what it is and find as much pleasure as possible in being forced to spend a day on the couch. I'll bounce back soon. At least, im getting in a lot of sparking... if only that burned more calories.