Wednesday, January 16, 2013
or rather... week. i went back to school this week! taking 3 classes. Math 118, English 111 and Intro to Microcomputers 101. good stuff, ladies and gents! finally getting back in school after taking last semester and the summer off. stuff got hectic! and at first i was stubborn about going to school THIS semester.. i mean, it seriously cuts into my vegging out and tv time. lol. my, oh my how i've changed in the past 3 months... my mission is to be a better me.. and it's positively impacting my family. the kids get to spend some time away from me, and consequently more time with their dad and even their paternal grandma.. whom they usually only see on holidays. and just last night i informed my husband that some unfortunate circumstances... my aunt selling her house, our house we are renting.. could very well be a test to see how we are growing the the presence of God. recently, i've had a rejuvenation of my faith. i've started to read the bible for the first time in my life... i still get emotional thinking of last sunday when our pastor was doing his thing.. talking about whether or not you believe that God can do ANYTHING. And he looked at my husband and said "Can he, Julian?" and i cried in the middle of church. Something i fight every sunday... hubs says it's the holy spirit that makes me so emotional. and it's possible.. all i know is i feel like crying every sunday, every time i hear a gospel song, every time i read a particular quote from the bible. anyway, it was an aha moment i think. the pastor was also talking about dealing with our ''unbelief'' and i struggle with that as well, and i'm not proud of it. i'm a very logical person and i find myself often agreeing with views that are not the same as what the bible says. gay marriage and evolution come to mind. my views probably won't change on those.. but it did affect my views on my religion. can i be a true christian and still believe that you should be able to marry who you love? can i be a true christian if i genuinely don't believe that god snapped his fingers and stuff happened? i don't know. i believe jesus christ died for our sins. and i often try to excuse creationism in that God made the earth in 7 days by saying.. well.. maybe a day to him was actually thousands of years to us. but alas, the first book i read in the bible states that the sun rose, the sun set and that is indeed a day. i don't know, kids. but i do know that God saved my husband from a terrible, terrible fate. My husband found Jesus Christ and that did more for him than any AA meeting or inpatient rehab could no. and trust me, we tried. for 4 years i begged, pleaded, stayed by his side. put him in rehab, threatened him, took his kids away, even dated another man for a few months... and nothing got to him. God CAN do anything.. and i didn't believe that fully until this past sunday.. my pastor's words put that into context for me.
SO. on to today. i did my homework for my math class and my computer's class this morning... and started the process of getting a refund for my digital textbook. i need to run some errands and workout.. then playing bingo with my aunt, mom and my best friend.. lol. my birthday is tomorrow and i get to play bingo for $2 tonight. and that's about all i'm willing to spend on anything that resembles gambling. religion aside... i don't understand it. maybe if i win $100 tonight my view will change. but i highly doubt it... i've never been one to sacrifice the money i already have for money i probably won't win. and as strong as the ''addiction gene'' runs in my family.. i'm lucky to escape with JUST a food addiction.
an update on the diet -- i've eaten well the past few days. mainly because we haven't had much to eat in the house, i haven't cooked dinner and i've been busy busy busy. but! it counts. have a lovely wednesday sparkpeoples :)