I feel guilty and I shouldn't.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Over the past 3 years, I have been on a weight loss journey. It took me 22 months to lose over 100 pounds and I have kept it off for about 2 years. Then it happened. I started getting comfortable in my NEW body. I thought I had it all figured out. I started picking here and there and gained 6 pounds over the past year. 6 pounds does not sound like a lot, but when I fit nice in the size 1o's, then the muffin top showed up, it did a lot to my mental state. Then the worst case scenario happend. I broke my foot. In 6 weeks, I have gained 6-8 pounds. I was still working out, but my diet started to fall apart again.

Just recently a friend asked me to send some recent pictures of me, so we could follow up on my "Success." My success was 15 pounds ago. I failed, once again. I feel guilty that I have, because for the past 3 years, people have watched me. People look to me as a source of motivaion and inspiration. People look at my grocery cart, when I am at the store, people follow me online, friends and family check in with me often. I never realized what pressure this would be. I have gained nearly 15 pounds, since I met my goal 2 years ago. I feel like I am not living up to the "Success Story," I have created.

Although my feelings are perfectly valid, this is where I smack my self upside the head and say "Suck it Up, Buttercup." I worked my rear end off to get to my "Success." This minor failure is exactly that. Minor. This is part of life. I am proud that I can see the problem and know how and when to fix it. I know I am not doing this for anyone but ME.

The fact that I have many watching me, only makes me want to push harder, because I want them to see that we WILL fail at times, and it's ok.

No matter what comes your way, you can beat it. I broke my foot 6 weeks ago. If anyone knows me, this was not good. I am a runner and love to Crossfit. I had a pitty party and just kept going to the gym. I have gained 6 pounds, due to reduced activity.

I have no reason to feel guilty. This is my journey and all my beautiful and loving friends/family support me when I succeed and when I fail.

Thank You!

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