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    LILLIPUTIANNA   20,463
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To the Sparker Who Said They CAN'T Lose Weight.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

When someone on the forum says, “I CAN’T lose weight,” what are you supposed to say back to them?

Are you supposed to say...

“Yay! Yes you can! Go Sparker! RAWR!”

Or...

“It sounds to me like you’ve already made your mind up to fail?”

Or...

Should you just high tail it out of that thread and find some other activity to do, like underwater basket weaving or building a rocket ship out of popsicle sticks?

I honestly don’t know what to say to those people. I know they CAN lose the weight. I suspect that some part of them doesn’t WANT to lose the weight, because of fear, pain, or because someone else has guilted them into trying to lose weight.

No matter what the reason, they think they can’t lose weight, and they’ve decided to tell us all about it...all us folks who are working every day to change our health...they feel that we need to see their post about how they can’t do what we are doing.

Do they just want attention?

Are we supposed to pile on top of their post and feed their need for drama?

Do they want us to feel bad, because we’re doing what they really want to do, but they haven’t reached the point where they truly feel like they NEED to make a change?

I mean, I have days where streams of profanity pour from my mouth, and I feel like an utter failure, BUT I don’t go on the forums and say, “There’s no point in me being here, because I can’t do this!” I might say something like, “Hey Sparkers, I am feeling pretty down on myself today, lots of thoughts about what a failure I am. Talk me out of it, okay?”

BUT I wouldn’t say I can’t do this. I know I can do this. I know we ALL can do this. Science is amazing and has shown HOW to do this! Yay! Science!

So, if anyone has any insight as to why someone would go out of their way to say they can’t, in a forum full of people who know they CAN, please grant me your insight!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MJREIMERS 1/17/2013 9:32PM

    I guess I'd tell them to go to the doctor to see if there is a reason they can't lose weight. Thyroid, metabolism, secret illness, etc.

If there isn't then maybe they just are feeling like a failure and need reassurance. One of my favorite says is, "You are already beautiful and you are only improving on your beauty." emoticon

Lifestyles changes are hard and I think most of us have "been there done that" to some degree on this journey. I think many people need to be built up because there plenty of people in the world that are more than happy to break people down.

Just my thoughts!

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KARRENLYNN 1/16/2013 8:26PM

    After eliminating a medical condition that would keep you from losing weight, I think there is a difference between interest in losing weight and being committed to lose the weight. I think some people (myself included ) weren't really willing to make the changes in behavior that are necessary. I wasn't losing weight either till I made those changes and I'm losing weight now.

Everyone's different and has different ways of handling it. I have bad days and temporary setbacks and I tend to be like you Lilliputianna when posting. I also tend to be like sunscout - leave without commenting because I don't know what to say either.

I know I've gotten lots of support from people on this site and I appreciate the positive nature of the members

Have a great day,

Karen




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MOTHER-NATURE 1/16/2013 6:50PM

    emoticon

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SPARKFRAN514 1/16/2013 6:06PM

    Sometimes i feel they don't want to put the effort in the process. they hit a place where the scales stays the same for weeks and they feel it s easier to say I can't do this than it is to step back Empty the back pack and see what is inside. 1. am i tracking my food 2 how many exercise minutes do i have this week . have i changed my work out plan . Or it could be they don't want to lose the weight its family members or the Doc who is after them. I learned I have to want to lose weight then it happens . some blogs I have read when they say I can't lose weight . My family keeps bringing junk food in the house they don't like eating healthy. .... I say you can lose weight but first have to want to and not just say it but want it . they many need to see if there is a medical reason that the weight is not coming off or staying off


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ECOAGE 1/16/2013 5:28PM

    I read some of those blogs and posts. I think the writer is sometimes asking "what am I missing or not doing right?" I think the writer is sometimes looking to find someone else in the same boat. I know I'm looking for some answers because ... I can't lose weight!
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LILLIPUTIANNA 1/15/2013 10:32PM

    Good points Katie. What I find interesting is that you say you could see yourself posting something like that, but you never did. Was that because you weren't on SP or because you just never got around to posting?

The part to me that's the most interesting is not exactly that they feel like they can't succeed (we all get that sometimes), or that they may have a medical issue (those things do happen), but that they feel like unloading on us with both barrels. Negative wave impact in three..two...one...BLAMMO!

SP is a pretty positive place. Sometimes I think it might be a smidge TOO positive. That's why I want to understand the sort of person who doesn't get that subtle (or not so subtle) element of SP culture.



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KATIEG999 1/15/2013 10:19PM

    Here is my story which may answer your question. (The good news is at the end) I have tried for three years to lose weight. I have taken my calories down to the point I should be losing weight and kept it there for months...years...exercised, gone to my doctor's weight loss clinic every other week and followed it to the letter, written down everything I ate...and I didn't drop a pound.

I knew that if I kept trying and kept looking, I would find a way. But it was VERY discouraging. I could see myself posting like that, in my discouragement. I never did, but it makes sense to me. Think of how it would feel to try really hard for years and not lose an ounce?

Cutting to the chase, I have been on a complicated Hypothyroid diet for 8 days and for the first time in three years of effort, have dropped a few pounds. I have finally found something that works for me!

So what do you say? These people may be like me, and may have done everything they know to lose weight...everything that MOST people do to lose weight...they need encouragement to keep looking for a program that works for them.

That's my story and those are my thoughts.

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SUNSCOUT 1/15/2013 10:00PM

    Well, if you've never been successful at losing weight, you can start to worry that you are a scientific anomaly. I think maybe people posting that they can't do it want to be comforted - but they probably aren't ready to make the change. I'd be the one leaving that thread to do something else, haha
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