Tuesday, January 15, 2013
I don't think the scale has caught up to my body yet. I see/feel changes in the past week that are NOT being reflected on the scale.
According to the SCALE, I have lost 3 pounds in the past 2 weeks.
According to my clothes, my eyes, and how I feel.... that number isn't representative. Yesterday I noticed hollows and contours in my face that were not there 2 weeks ago. Pants that fit a bit uncomfortably 2 weeks ago were perfect today. Sad to say.... the favorite bra I've had the past few months is getting too big (you ladies know how frustrating that is!). Shaving my legs last night, I noticed that my cankles aren't quite as cankle-ey. These things tell me that my body is changing and responding to what I've been doing.
Have I been perfect? Oh, HUGE NO to that one (let's not re-visit the cinnamon roll incident, K?). What I have been is consistent. I have consistently gotten my butt to the gym and moved. I have consistently weight trained. I have consistently gotten my water in. I have consistently chosen healthy, nourishing foods. I have been consistent in limiting my "junky" calorie intake. Consistent. Not perfect.
"What's the difference?" someone might wonder. Consistent means that my efforts are NOT derailed by a slip up. It means that one lunch with friends will not cause you to gain 10# back. It means that I have FREEDOM to live as I want to.
I was extremely consistent for years, and the effects on my body were evident to the world. I was consistent in eating high-calorie, nutrient deficient food. I was consistent with sitting 99% of my day. I was consistent with eating to deal with any uncomfortable emotion that I had. I was consistent about being dishonest with myself.
I don't make this distinction lightly. I am a perfectionist by nature. I like things orderly and in their place. I struggle with OCD, and seem to even (hate to admit this!) be passing this along to my daughter who lines her crayons up in perfect order. I have a mental picture of how things are supposed to be done, and struggle when people deviate from it. I admit it... I'm a control freak. But this process, this JOURNEY, is teaching me that you do not have to be perfect to get to your destination. You have to be consistent.
Imagine that you are on a road trip, and you are consistently driving at 60 mph. You'd be making decent time, right? What if you made a wrong turn along the way? Do you forget about the destination you were aiming for? Or do you turn around, find your way, and resume your speed? See... that's the thing. You may have to stop the car, and turn around slowly. But once you're back on the freeway, you'll pick up speed. You may reach your destination 15 minutes later than planned, but you still reached it.
For 20 years, I said "screw the directions!" and drove around lost in the city. But this girl has gps now... when I take a wrong turn, I'm gonna slow down, make a U-turn, and head back in the direction I want to go.