Tuesday, January 15, 2013
I think my mind is playing games on me. I feel like I am constantly thinking about food and when I try to think about something else I think about it even more and obsess about food about my next meal and what I am going to eat the next day and what I have already eaten. I do not think there is a time that I do not think about food and I am such a person of instant gratification I want what I want and I want it NOW.
I know that I have always had a bad relationship with food when I was allowed to eat what I wanted, when I wanted and how much I wanted I did not think about it much. Now that I am starting to change what I am eating and how much I am eating I am now that is all I can think about. I try to distract myself and at times it does work for a time but than that obsession starts creeping in and it is back on my mind in full vengeance. It is like when I try to ignore my dog and when I do that he gets 10 times worse in trying to get attention. It is like my mind is my dog and is doing everything it can to get attention.
I am committed to changing my life and my habits but let me tell you some days are so hard and I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall. But I am confident one day I will have this under control.