Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Today one of my teens is in a mood that makes me say "AARRGGHHHHH!" I have made some progress in learning to identify my feelings instead of anaesthetizing myself with food, so I was stopped and reflected...... I felt aggravated, disappointed, frustrated, blue.
Sadly, my usual response is to think I should eat something. But lately I have been getting a lot of satisfaction out of feeling in control of my food choices. Basking in it actually, pumping myself up, trying to make myself remember the sensation of good choices and be hyper-aware: "Hey, I feel so much better when I eat this way."
So in the parking lot of the bagel shop I pulled out my iPod journal and wrote,
I FEEL UPSET THAT D IS FRACTIOUS TODAY. BUT --- IF I MAKE GOOD FOOD CHOICES, THAT WILL INSTANTLY GIVE ME SOMETHING TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT. THOSE GOOD FEELINGS WILL LAST MUCH LONGER THAN THIS BLUE MOOD. THOSE GOOD FEELINGS WILL INCREASE AS MY HEALTH GAINS AND MY BODY GRADUALLY CHANGES SHAPE.