Tuesday, January 15, 2013
That's what I looked and sounded like last night. I was acting like a spoiled kid who didn't get her way. I was disappointed. And upset. So I got crabby.
Well, I had to make a tough choice. I had to let something go that I wanted. Really bad. I am planning on running a half marathon in March. The one I chose and began to train for is the same one I've run for two years now. It is a medium-sized event on a somewhat challenging course but I really like it.
Last night I got a phone call. My black belt test has officially been scheduled. March 23. The same day as the race. NOT what I wanted to hear. I really want to run this race. I had planned to run with my husband, and my daughter and friend have begun training for the 5k.
1. Run the half marathon. Wait to take my test.
2. Take the test. Find another race on a different day.
It was very hard for me to do, but I went with choice 2. I feel as if I may have let down my husband and daughter. I will miss not running this race this year. But this time I am putting myself first. I set the goal of attaining my black belt a long time ago, and I feel that I will be prepared by the scheduled date. I am nervous and a bit scared, as this is one of the biggest challenges I have ever taken on and I am so close to the finish.
I know my husband supports me in this decision. We will keep on our training schedule although we may not even find another race to run together this spring.
So here I am, kicking the dirt and mumbling about how I should be able to do both. About how it isn't fair. But my husband reminded me how fortunate I am to have this dilemma. A 37 year old mom of 3 who works full time having to make a choice between two extremely challenging physical events. A woman with the tremendous support of my friends and family who didn't even dream this all was possible just three years ago.
There will be other races. I will continue my martial arts training. I will learn that patience and balance are both good things when it comes to my goals.