Tuesday, January 15, 2013
It could be worse, but...
I went to the dentist Sunday. Appointment was for Thursday, but they called me with an opening Sunday after work rather than Thursday in the middle of the day, so I took it. Got in the chair at 4:00, got out around 7:15. Ugh. I went in with a broken tooth that didn't hurt, and now I am in pain. I've had worse tooth pain, but if it doesn't get better by tomorrow, I'm going to have to have a root canal. They were afraid I would need one, but didn't. However, all the work they had to do (drill out big old filling, drill out decay, clean, build up for a crown, take impressions, put on a temporary) may have weakened the tooth to the point that a root canal will be needed. I hope not. I already plunked down $1500; I doubt I'll get 25% of that back from the insurance company. It could be worse, though. What if I didn't have the money? Been there, done that.
Here's the TMI: my period is weird. Started Saturday, very light. Sunday, which would normally be...how shall I say it?...okay, no need to be graphic...heavy. Heavy begins to hint at what my second day usually is. Anyway, Sunday was almost nothing. Weird. Monday, the same. Actually even less. Today, about the same. Until...I went to the gym. Oops - almost very embarrassing. And now - NOW - I'm feeling crampy. Super, super weird. Maybe this is perimenopause. I don't like it, whatever it is. I want to know what to expect every day. I don't have time for this crap. It could be worse, though.
Anyway, I obviously didn't make it to the gym Sunday, what with working all day and then spending 3+ hours at the dentist. Yesterday, had to come home right after work because DH had to work. Today BodyBalance, which was good.
The last few weeks have been hard at the gym and running. I've put on so much weight, and I've felt every pound when I've exercised. It's harder to get into poses, and even harder to hold them because it's hard to breathe because my gut's in the way. I can't reach back and grab my foot. And I'm back to being the biggest thing in the room again, which is disheartening. I try to think that I'm inspiring people by daring to go in there in skin-tight workout gear and setting up right in the front of the room and doing my very best, but if I think about it too much, I assume everyone is laughing at and/or pitying and/or being disgusted by me. I can't control what people think, and I can't let it stop me. And I know I assume the worst, but it does bother me sometimes. I will say that I am kind of grateful that this culture doesn't really allow for nudity, even in a single-sex locker room, though! LOL Anyway, I can and do work out, so it could be worse.
Work continues apace. I have mostly caught up, and now students are turning in final projects which means I will snowed under again by Thursday. I have volunteered for more (unpaid) work because I am an idiot. Haha. No, because I am building my CV. I am working towards a better job. I am developing myself professionally (since my administration doesn't seem to care about providing professional development). I have to keep telling myself these things. So that's good.
Food-wise, it's been so-so. I haven't really been able to eat much because of the tooth. It could be worse.
So, it's mostly good.